Hi. I'm 31, college grad, and now a firefighter/EMT and I've felt like "this" most of my life, but its been getting worse for the past 5 years. I've always been active, a reader, curious about everything, a big and happy joker, a big laugh, and everything...but a terrible student. Sure, I graduated college but always it was a fight to stay on target with what i was doing. I'd procrastinate like crazy until the last day and then be able to focus and pump out of the computer a perfect paper. It was uncanny. My study habits were worse....i couldn't study except on fear of a slow death: having to repeat the course. Sports though i always excelled with plenty of energy to get me through the day. Lately (i.e. the past few years after college), unless its a really interesting book, I can't finish it, or I can't concentrate on something important unless its to immediately save my life. I just don't have the attention span anymore! I start sentences, or ask questions, and i'll change my mind midsentence and then forget where i was going with it. Writing it down helps since it forces me to see what I said and I can then go back and finish what i was saying. Its aggravating, annoying, and frustrating...even though at times I have to laugh at myself. My mom even says she experienced alot of this from me as a kid so why should i be any different now, though back then she just called it not paying attention. Well, the monster has grown a few more heads....its driving me crazy, especially since in my line of work staying focused can save your life. I went to a therapist/consultant, and he told me straight out that thought it was possible that i had ADD, he "feels that treating the root of the symptoms would help solve the problem". Sounds good, right? Well, after 5 meetings to develop a history, he gave me some breathing exercises!!! Um.....haven't worked yet. Any suggestions? I've read Halloway's books (well, most of them...as much as I could over 2 weeks per book since I couldn't finish a chapter without thinking of something else that needed to be done) and its like he's written it all about me....but no other psychologist can see it it seems. What am i doing wrong? Basically, I could really use a diagnosis since from what i've been told by everybody, GP's and family who have had similar problems included, medications (cringing at the thought) might help me alot. So...its affecting my work now. Its always affected my relationships, and its making me depressed that its always going to be like this, which kind of sucks since there is alot about it that I enjoy....well, except for forgetting directions, losing stuff, changing the subject on my boss, and making a general nuisance of my sometimes completely off topic questions which come out seemingly without my being able to censor them first!!!
Sorry..... long letter, i know.
It just feels like i'm running out of potential cures and losing my mind trying to keep everything in some semblence of order.....
I did find a book that helps, though even it suggests medication as helpful. Its called, "10 Simple Solutions to Adult ADD" by Stephanie Sarkis, Ph.D. Good book...now i just wish i had more options.
J
Sorry..... long letter, i know.
It just feels like i'm running out of potential cures and losing my mind trying to keep everything in some semblence of order.....
I did find a book that helps, though even it suggests medication as helpful. Its called, "10 Simple Solutions to Adult ADD" by Stephanie Sarkis, Ph.D. Good book...now i just wish i had more options.
J
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Answers
I haven't 100% found an answer for myself yet, but I DO think that your sypmtoms are consistent with ADD. I would try to find a different doctor. The ADD medication I began really did help me focus! Plus, my symptoms got worse as I got older. I also graduated college by the skin of my teeth due to procrastination, even tho I was plenty intelligent enough to do fantastic. LOL Be encouraged you aren't alone, and it will get better.
socratese, though your post was long and long posts are often difficult to read, you gave plenty of information to let me help some, I think.
You could work on what most people call "sell esteem" but I call self respect. Changing how you think about yourself will help you feel better. CBT (cognitive behavior therapy) and guide you.
You said, "sure I graduated college but..."
"I can't finish it, or I can't" and "Its always" and " its making me depressed that its always going to be like this"
Phrases like that are cognitive distortions. THAT you can work on, but it isn't easy. I know you have problems staying focused, but each time you can correct such a distortion, you are ahead of where you were. It takes time, and though you are frustrated with just after "5" meetings and your slight effort to learn to breathe effectively, you won't be able to change unless you continue to try. :)
The ten most common cognitive distortions are sticky posted in the top of the psychotherapy forum at www.psychcentral.com
Good wishes
Hang in there
drjean
Hi there...
It does sound consistent with ADD/ADHD for sure. Meditation and breathing exercises are good, but after a while or so, as the other poster mentions, I would discuss it with the doctor.
You may also be able to search for a new doctor later on, if you give it a while and feel that this doctor doesn't work for you.
I know its hard, but give it a bit of time to see how much help it could be. Also, ask him if there is anything else you could do to help yourself.
Best,
Clyde
It does sound as if your symptoms are consistent with ADD. I don't think it's a condition with an instant cure, unfortunately. Don't dismiss breathing exercises, or meditation. The whole point is to learn to still the mind, and it sounds as if your mind could definitely use some stilling. You might read up on meditation or, even better, take a class (to help with focus and practice). Someone compared learning to still your mind in meditation like trying to teach a puppy to stay on a mat -- the puppy walks off the mat, you put the puppy back on the mat; the puppy walks off the mat, you put the puppy back on the mat... Obviously the puppy doesn't learn to stay on the mat in a day or two, and neither does the mind. Apart from this kind of intervention, the drugs seem to help a lot of people. Clearly you need to persevere until you can get a doctor to take you seriously. Please don't give up. Best of luck.