Avatar Posted by mgallaway 195 days ago (Question)
I need to know where i can get help for my son.He has no job,no longer covered on my health insurance.He is currently in jail for party to a crime,he gets out next month.Has no place to live, no (drivers lic.)Are there any programs, anything for people with such problems.I don't want to see him living on the streets.I have a younger daughter (13) that i cannot subject her, to his violent and out of control behavior!He can get just plain nasty....


Answers

Written by bellacutie 195 days ago Rating: 1 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi,

this must be very hard for you. Is he on medication for the ADHD? Will he be consulting with a parole officer when he leaves jail? I would suggest talking to his parole officer and the administrator at the jail to see what they suggest. I wish I could help you more. I hope everything works out.

Written by mgallaway 195 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

No medication at this time.Who do i contact at the jail to seek help for him.He was on meds while he was going to school and still covered on my insurance,but the money ran out for school and insurance dropped him when they found out he was no longer enrolled in school.where do I get the help that he desprately needs?

Written by drjean 195 days ago Rating: 1 | Rate Answer: + -

Mgallway, wow this has been a tough row to hoe for you too hasn't it? Yes, I agree, you need to safeguard your teen. Make sure son knows he isn't coming to your home...and do make sure the admin at the jail knows that too. His parole officer usually helps with resources, but often they aren't assigned til they are released. But liek bellacutie said, check with them now, and first.

Good wishes

drjean

Written by Edahn 194 days ago Rating: 1 | Rate Answer: + -

I think it's important to recognize that your son is suffering immensely, too. He is probably very afraid and very agitated right now. He is also probably afraid to slow down and face the feelings of guilt or sadness that he's been running away from for a while now. I would guess that a lot of his behavior is an attempt to distract himself from these feelings and change the person that he is.

If he's just coming out of jail, there's a chance that he's still extremely aggressive. There's also a chance that this experience has been sobering for him and can serve as a wake up call.

If I were you, I would try and capitalize on this opportunity by having a very respectful and honest talk with him. Treat him like an adult and ask him if this is the kind of life he wants, or whether he wants something that is happy and peaceful. Tell him that you believe in him, despite what has happened, but that he needs to believe in himself. You can also tell him that the condition to his coming back is that he enrolls in school and/or finds a job, and makes a commitment to exercise self control. You can tell him that the point of these things is to get him on the right track so he can start making good decisions -- not so you can control him, but so that he can grow. If he agrees to this, he can move back in. If not, he should find somewhere else to live until he's ready to agree to your terms, which again, you emphasize, are for him more than they are for you. I think you should keep contact with him regardless of what he chooses. Make sure you address him like a responsible, capable adult, even if you doubt that he is. It'll disarm a lot of his defenses.

This isn't easy. If you do your best to be kind and wise, you'll make the best decisions.

Sincerely,

Edahn

Written by Clyde 194 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I would as mentioned here talk to the administrator and staff there about what to do, also when he gets out, as I mentioned, his therapist outside may be able to help.

Best,

Clyde


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