My mom passed a year ago. The first year I remained strong for everyone else and felt a new strength. Everyone else has moved on, and now as of April, 27th bday, its hitting me hard. Its hard to eat, sleep, or feel like how i felt before when i was strong when it first happened. Please help. I just want to be strong like i was in the first year.
A place to come to ask and answer questions from others on mental health and relationship issues.
Copyright © 1992-2008 Psych Central. All rights reserved.
Answers
dawgonit, (((hugs))) I'm sorry about your loss. Everyone grieves/mourns, and though everyone mourns, not everyone mourns at the same time. It appears that you haven't taken the time to mourn your loss. You've been so busy being strong for others, it's allowed you to either numb or deny the real loss for yourself.
Now, you can delay mourning, if you wish and set your mind to it, or you give yourself time and reflect and cry and grieve like you probably need to.
Best wishes
drjean
It does indeed sound like you took care of everyone but yourself. It would be advisable to give yourself a chance to mourn...
Get pictures of her together, things she bought you, and bring up memories of her when you are by yourself or with one or two people you seriously trust.
Talk about her to them, and allow yourself to be open and frank with them. If you feel the tears, do not hide them. Let them come out and try to get emotional about your mother, but please do not make it fake, either. Let it come naturally and honestly.
Also, have you been to the Psych Central Grief link? Here it is, the people there are good to ask for help too.
http://forums.psychcentral.com/postlist.php?Cat=&Board=grief
Best,
Clyde