My name is Jade and I'm 18 years old. i am a devout Christian with a very close relationship with God. about four months ago i watched an episode of a crime tv show, and it sounds silly but it scared me so much. the episode was to do with a criminal who was killing his victims by (it absolutely pains me to write this, the image is so vivid) cutting their throats. now with this image in my head i have been having the worst anxiety... Im frightened so much of sleeping, because what if i sleepwalk and kill my family or something? As a Christian of course it scares me even more. As a result of this i have developed a phobia of knives and losing control and hurting my family and those I love. It's gotten to a point now where I think about it almost obsessively and I'm scared to sleep sometimes. It's horrible and I cant stand it, I just want to get rid of it. It generates feelings of anxiety.
Would anyone recommend anything? What's your opinion? Would hypnosis help?
Please help, I cant stand this fear, and these terrible images.
Would anyone recommend anything? What's your opinion? Would hypnosis help?
Please help, I cant stand this fear, and these terrible images.
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Answers
I get the exact same way you do, and funnily enough I'm around the same age. If I see something violent or scary on tv or read about it I obsess and am terrified that I may harm my family in a similar way. I too am afraid of losing control.
I don't know what advice to give you really. But I've found several people on this site who have experienced the same thing, maybe violent movies etc. are projected on daily worries and we obsess because we are afraid of losing control. I think the answer to the problem is in finding out whether or not it is possible to lose control and hurt someone. Because if it is impossible then then that knowledge will lessen your anxiety and make you feel safer when sleeping.
Personally I am terrified of bringing this issue to a shrink because I don't want my future career goals to be affected by a sketchy medical history, I'm also afraid of being prescribed drugs. But that it my choice, if you feel like you should talk to someone then you should. I have tried to fix this problem myself first by limiting my exposure to scary media, directing my thoughts away from these feelings of anxiety and repeatedly telling myself that I have to trust myself and that these actions are wrong and I would never be capable of them.
Hope this helps you. If nothing else it might help to know you're not the only one who sometimes feels this way.
Aussiegirl, it sounds like that one show really hit home with something inside of you. Maybe you have been feeling angry or upset already about family issues, and the ability to fixate on the knives is making it all feel too real.
Try to discuss the regular things that are upsetting you with the family dynamics. You probably already was anxious about things, and the crime show only allowed you to acknowledge those ill feelings.
People don't usually do things against their nature, whether sleepwalking or hypnotized, btw. I'm sorry the fear of being out of control is so strong for you.
Why would you become more scared because you are Christian? Is it that it's so out of character for you to even think such a thing? You can draw on God's strength to help you work through this. He knows exactly what you are feeling, and He also knows why.
Realize that you are probably using the knives as an object of your fears, and not the real fear. Is there something going on in your life that you are not able to control, that bothers you? Are you harboring ill feelings towards family, are they preventing you from doing what you think you want to do, or are they not helping you when you need their help, including with emotional issues? Do you feel they are hearing you when you express needs?
If you can't discuss this with your mom or dad, then find a school counselor, or a favorite teacher and share what's going on with you.
I'll pray for the peace of Christ to comfort you, too.
Best wishes
drjean
Hi there AussieGirl!
I would recommend CBT or hypnosis.
CBT is probably the best thing, in my mind for it.
It will help you replace that phobia with something else, or make that phobia less frightening to you.
Best,
Clyde