I'm young and have had alot of things happen. I was sexually abused through much of my teenage years and was completely manipulated. Our family has been through alot the past year. I've been depressed, lot's of ups and downs. I've had insomnia and alot of nightmares. I seem to obsess with things for days on end. I seem to worry about things all the time. But I'm newly married and sometimes I'm really happy where I run and scream. I get really energetic and I'll bite my husband or do things that I'm not really proud of like hit. I dunno. Like I said I don't really know what I'm asking. I'm just wondering if I suffer from depression, or if I'm gunna be Bipolar. Any ideas would help.
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Answers
I think it would be a great idea for you to see a therapist, to have someone to sort this out with. If money is an issue, keep calling until you find someone affordable or who has a sliding scale.
You sound knowledgeable, describing aspects of depression, anxiety, obsessions, and mania. This is something a psychologist could clarify; it's not really something that can be done well over e-mail.
What I'm hearing is that you've been through a lot, and those experiences are still moving through you, as would be natural. There's nothing wrong with you. Even if you are diagnosed with depression, for example, that's a way of describing a pattern, that may come from abuse or genetics or something else. Every single person gets mentally ill at one point or another in life, just as we all get physically sick. Usually, we heal and move on, sometimes with the help of therapy or medication.
It's natural to be scared, angry, and sad if you've felt manipulated and abused and didn't have the resources to do anything about it. Tell someone now. These things continue to affect our relationships and how we feel long afterwards. I think it's totally normal to be all over the place emotionally when that's what your life has been like. Any label you put on it, it's still comes down to what you're feeling and experiencing. It would be crazy not to feel depressed or anxious or something after being sexually abused!
We often act out with the ones we are closest to, sometimes because we trust them, because it's a safe space to show where we're not OK. Can you ask your husband for his support? Have you told him what happened? Find something else to hit and bite. Listen to your thoughts and feelings, but work it out without hurting anyone else.
In addition to therapy, what kinds of things can you do to nurture yourself? Can you find pleasurable things like bubble baths or dancing to your favorite music or herbal tea and a book you've been wanting to read? Is there a way you can express what's inside you? Journal, therapy, art, talking to your husband or friends?
I think it's great you ask a question without having it all figured out!
Well, you definitely sound very anxious and energetic, that is for sure. Seems like there is a lot of stress, and as you mention, obsessing over things day after day as well.
Running and screaming may release tension for you as well.
Your best bet at the present is to seek a therapist near you or talk to a doctor near you who may be able to help you with the issues that you feel you have.
Also, check out http://forums.psychcentral.com/ (PsychCentral) forums and resource directory to see if any of the above mentioned might fit you.
Best of luck and Happy New Year!