Avatar Posted by bipolargirl 152 days ago (Question)
First of all i'm really sorry about this post and i will try and only post on Thursday about good things still. Right now it's more or less support i need than a question to ask. Please forgive me! Today just felt horrible, my parents were 'fighting' all weekend, although they prefer to say they were 'disagreeing'. this morning there was more fighting and it really got to me. I had a doctors appointment today and my Dad was just fighting my mother tooth and nail about me taking medication. He doesn't want anything to do with it and i was crying my eyes out. After the doctor i kept asking for reassurance that they wouldn't divorce (my mom and i were the only ones in the car because my dad went to work.) and she yelled after i kept asking "what's so bad about a divorce if all we do is fight all the time?" as if saying they were and i freaked and screamed "if you ever get divorced i'll kill myself!" we were quiet for a long time and then she growled "don't you ever talk about killing yourself again!" she then told me they were not going to get divorced. my mom was so shaken up we were at the gas station and she got out her purse and muttered "and we even have to count change for the cost of living because we have no fucking money" i talked to my dad on the phone about an hour ago about this and he says everything is fine, but i've just gotten into such a deep state of depression i can't bring myself to believe that's true. i've been upstairs with the door locked to room crying for hours now and i just can't seem to take my anxious pain anymore. i don't have anyone else who will listen to me anymore except for you all so if you can please forgive my posting yet again i would really appreciate it. I feel empty and hopeless inside and incredibly guilty. Please help me somebody!


Answers

Written by Edahn 151 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

That situation would shake anyone up. And then you have to figure out how to deal with it. I know you want us to sooth you, but I'm going back to what I said before: how can you sooth yourself? It's important skill for anyone to have, but I think it's especially important for YOU to develop.

So. The situation is bad but seemed to have calmed down. Your body is agitated and you are probably thinking about what happened. What is the BEST MOVE you can make right now to improve this situation, even if just a little?

Written by bellacutie 151 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi BPG,

I know it really stinks when kids see their parents fight. You have to do your best not to get involved because this makes matters worse. Regarding the medication this is normal to debate and discuss - it's because they care about you. They each have their own opinion and they will find a solution along with the doctor.

Finances are very tough for alot of people right now. I want to give you a tip - try not to get answers from your parents about important issues, when they are upset - because they might say things that they don't mean.

I agree with your mom, that you should never think about suicide and use it as a threat. Even if God forbid, your parents did divorce(which I don't think they are) it's not the end of the world. This is what I think - I will never let any circumstances or anyone including myself make me want to kill myself. I'm a survivor and strong. I want you search inside yourself and find a simalar strength and think back to all the self help strategies that we gave you before. I want you to make a similar promise to yourself and keep it, no matter how bad lifes storms are. I wish you didn't have to see them fighting, but let them worry about it and they'll work it out. Life has ups and downs(it will pass). TC :)

Sorry Edahn - I had to give her a little advice - I'm a big softy when it comes to kids. I felt like BPG was out in a stormy sea, so I just threw her a life preserver, so she could paddle to safety. I'll try to be stronger next time. I think I'll go put myself in the 'naughty chair' now - LOL

Written by Edahn 151 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

:)

Written by bipolargirl 151 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Thank you so much Bellacutie, it feels really good to know that there is someone still out there. I know i shouldn't have posted but i had to, i felt as though everything was coming down on me and i didn't have anywhere to go or anyone to talk to. what you told me makes me feel SO much better. I really needed that comfort. It's been pretty rough for me these past few months and this site has given me a great bit of strength that i honestly needed. Thank you so very much for the support. I'm sorry i posted again i really am, but broke down yesterday and couldn't take the stress and anxiety any longer.

Written by bellacutie 151 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

You're welcome and it's okay for posting so soon and I understand it's because you were overwhelmed. I know that you wanted to comply with just posting Thursdays and you were doing great with the whole idea and we should go back to that - okay. Just keep trying to keep yourself balanced and postitive and this will also help with your parents stress - not that you are to blame - it's just it must be hard for them to see you upset sometimes. Parents go through stress all the time - let them take care of it and do your best to be a good helper.

When there's a problem, ask yourself - could this be worse? If the answer is yes, then just breathe and let it go.

Written by bipolargirl 151 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Thanks again

Written by Clyde 150 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I agree...this situation is definitely a bit dramatic and rough for you, especially.

I am sure it is also hard for your parents to see what you are going through.

I hope this situation has resolved itself a little bit. Teens and children are always the least noted by families when it comes to problems in the families.

Best,

Clyde


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