Avatar Posted by Sailingaway444 44 days ago (Question)
I've been in college for 8 weeks and it's been pretty tough. Initially, I had a lot of trouble adjusting - I was homesick and spent most of orientation being miserable. It got so bad that my parents took me home for a few days so I could straighten things out. I was having anxiety attacks about being away from home, not having that many friends, and not liking the whole living away from home.

This anxiety about college came from the fact that I had very little change in my life prior to moving out - I went to the same school, had the same friends, and lived a pretty quite life with my family. It was definitely hard with college and going into an environment where I had to live with partiers, etc.

Eight weeks later, things have definitely improved. I've joined a club sports team and made a great group of friends. I'm slowly beginning to feel like this is home - but there are times that I have some serious depressive/anxious feelings.

I have some anxiety when it comes to my roommate - we get along fine when we're together. For the first several weeks, we would go to bed around the same time. Recently, she's been staying out late - either studying or partying till 2 in the morning or later. I've had a hard time adjusting to this - I have a difficult time falling asleep when she's not there. I also have some anxiety when it comes to not knowing where she is, especially when it's late at night and I wake up and she's not there.

I guess I feel lonely going to asleep at night alone, especially when she's out partying and I'm uncertain if she'll come in drunk, how late she's coming in, or if she's coming in at all. It disrupts my sleep habits. I try to think of positive things when I go to bed and I can generally fall asleep, but have a hard time staying asleep. Sometimes, I'll wake up and will be really anxious about her not being there. Usually, when this happens I tend to get homesick and feel pretty miserable.

Is there any way to stop this problem?


Answers

Written by Chemar 44 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi

my son went thru very similar to what you are so I sure do understand. College life can be a very big readjustment, especially when it so very different from the lifestyle you have back home

hopefully as you become more used to your roommate's comings and goings, you will be able to adjust and not be worried.

I dont know if it may help, but perhaps when you are awake and anxious, instead of just lying there worrying, could you try reading, or writing, or something else you enjoy to keep your mind occupied and hopefully either become real sleepy or at least not so anxious and homesick.

hoping this isnt affecting your studies and that things will settle down for you to be able to just enjoy your new adventure

Written by Clyde 43 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Do you want her to do some things with her so you feel more comfortable? Could you ask her to go out with you a night or two?

Hopefully you can be come more adjusted. Find things to do that occupy your time so you dont have to worry about it as much.

Best,

Clyde

Written by bellacutie 43 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Is it possible to get a new roomate who matches your routine? Is she noisy when she comes in? If she she isn't then you need to accept that she lives a different lifestyle than you and don't worry about her. She has her own life and probably doesn't want to feel like she's still at home with her parents watching. You're her roomate not her mother(not trying to hurt your feelings here).

If you're feeling anxiety about being alone - I would suggest deep breathing exercises and learning meditation. Make sure you're eating healthy and exercising. Once you go to sleep - stay there. You don't need to get up and check if she's home - this isn't your responsibility. Even if she doesn't come home at all - no big deal. Please just take care of yourself only. This is a great time in your life. Best of luck, Bella


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