Avatar Posted by binagirl71 24 days ago (Question)
Hi, I am 37 years old and married (no children). My brother has a daughter - 1 year old - whom i absolutely adore and love...He also has two boys (9 and 7)...My question is, if i see my niece get hurt - she hit her head yesterday and was crying and convulsing...i feel such despair and heartache, like i have to leave the room and be alone so i can cry...This happens also if my older nephew (the 9 year old) get's hurt or cries...I feel utterly helpless and it is almost painful....Growing up my brother and I always were close (not even a year diff in age) and I felt something similar for him that i do for these two children...It's like I have a specific sensitivity to these two children...I broke down when i got home and just cried and cried...This makes me scared to have kids of my own...Is it just caring? Or is there more to this? I also am on Zoloft - been for the past year..
Thanks for your help!


Answers

Written by bellacutie 23 days ago Rating: 1 | Rate Answer: + -

I would be more worried if you didn't feel anything when they got hurt. It is a little excessive when you said you go home and cry. Since you're on Zoloft - how long have you been depressed. Some people are more sensitive than others. Instead of walking away in despair - can you go over to them and offer them comfort? I wouldn't be concerned that you would be worse with your own kids. It's natural for kids to get bumps and accidents. I would be upset seeing her convulsing too. Try taking some slow deep breaths while reminding yourself, they are okay. Good luck.

Written by binagirl71 23 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Thank you for your quick response. I have been on Zoloft for about a year. I had more anxiety than depression, but I had one episode last year where I felt such despair and dread for a week straight that my doc put me on Zoloft..the anxiety levels have gone down and those feelings of despair have not come back....I also was in therapy up until a couple of weeks ago...I definitely feel alot better and I guess it's normal to be uspet seeing them get hurt. I will take your suggestion and just be there for them...Maybe that's what they want, just to be comforted (of course if its not serious!) Thanks again for your help!

Written by Clyde 20 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I worry a bit about it too, because you do go home and cry about it, as was said. However; you do sound like you would be a great parent, and a compassionate one.

I am glad to hear your therapy went well.

Best,

Clyde


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