Avatar Posted by weronica 253 days ago (Question)
Please read it:'(

So this was my first relation i was 14 when one of my relative proposed me, I was like comon weronica he's just your cousin just say yes,, so my answer to him was yes,as I was 14 I realy wasn't mature at all, but slowly when I turned 15 I realy started loving him a lot:'(
He's 2 years elder to me,he lied me many times that he doesn't flirt around with girls and etc etc.. I beleived him,, but one day I got to know his facebook password I broke into pieces he had flirted with so many girls etc.. So then I just texted him its over,, but I never told him the truth what I saw all this, I just told him I never loved you and so om.. So he said ok bye and that's it..
1 week later he said sorry and said he won't chat with any girl or have any relation with them etc.. I am so dumb I said ok fine, so we started again we had so many fights but it got sort out, I realy started loving him more and even more,, the way he used to say I thought he realy loved me,, but now when we have broke up I think it was all a lie, but how can soneone fake for such a long time?we where in relation for 1 and half year,, and then suddenly a day came out and we decided we should break up, I said yes because I felt that ya weronica just give him a goodbye because you are going to look a jerk after this,, so I said fine bye he said bye..
And we broke up,, remember( I am virgin, we never had any physical relation) and we are relatives so we often see each other at family get together..
So the day we broke up he moved on in just an hour, he doesn't even remember that I exist, and it has being 4 months we broke up, nothing changed. I think about him crazily :'(
I get sick, am so angry all the time, frustrated :'(
I can't find a consealer because my parents will always come with me where ever I go,, and they have no idea about my relation
Please everyone help me I am going to be mad, I swear I don't know what's happening:'(
I am so stupid that I am crying while typing this too,
Please help me I don't want to think about him. Please help me, he doesn't even care if I exist then why do I care? Please please help me
I want to be happy, I have no idea how it feels being happy anymore

I have freinds but not anyone whom I can trust and talk with, so please help me with somthing best.. I am mad :'(


Answers


Khalila
252 days ago
Dear weronica,

First of all, I'm truly sorry this is happening to you. You seem like a sweet person just fell in love with the wrong person. I can't honestly say I ever had a situation like yours happen to me (dating relatives) but I do know the pain of loss for someone you love. Your situation is obviously difficult due to you being more or less obligated to be around him.

I do not wish to offend you, but I want to tell you I had a similar situation happen to me before in High School. I dated a boy for two years (he too proposed to me) and he kept giving me the same run around you were facing. He'd endlessly flirt with other girls and probably many I never even knew about. Like a fool in love, I ran back to him after he said he'd stop and had eyes for just me, only to get shoved away and cursed at in the end.

Consider this: If your parents normally care about what is happening with you...I believe that if your parents don't already know about this former relationship of yours, you should probably speak up. Chances are they would be willing to help.

If that isn't an option for you, I would suggest this: Look back to that relationship. Really think about all the terrible things he did to you and the lies he created to start with. Is a guy who intentionally harms you, who flirted with others worth it? The answer is no.

It may take some time to fully understand and realize this even if you automatically say, "No he isn't." I fell into the, "No, he isn't but I still really love him" for quite a long time. Almost a whole year, actually. This is one of those things where... it may not seem like it, but time will heal your wounds and you will eventually find someone who will treat you the correct way.

Until then, please direct towards on re-discovering yourself. As corny as it sounds, picking up a hobby or something to get your mind off of sad thoughts helps. It won't make the pain go entirely away but... it is important for you to realize you deserve a lot better treatment. Spend some time with friends and other family as often as you can. Being around them will soften the blow as you're not constantly focused on the heartbreak. As for confrontation with the guy, I'd avoid him as much as possible without sacrificing time towards other family that you like to be around. There isn't much else you can do I'm afraid.

I do wish you all the best. I know it's not easy.
- 0 +



bella
252 days ago
Hi - I'm sorry you're having a hard time. Do you live in a country or culture that tolerates cousin relationships?? I understand you got attached since 1st loves are intense but he's obviously too young to be loyal to anyone really. If parents in your community don't approve of cousin relations, you should tell your parents. This time will pass and all you can do is learn from this.

In the meantime, get your education so you can be financially stable and not dependent of a man. I hope one day you'll meet a kind and honest man who'll appreciate you. This time will pass.
- 0 +



MEdwards
252 days ago
Hi there. I hope I can be of some help.

Between Bella and Khalila, I can't offer much else in the way of advise on your relationship. They both gave wonderful advise that I hope you will take to heart. :) But I wanted to tell you that you are not, by any means, stupid. It is natural and normal to feel hurt when a relationship goes badly. That's part of human nature. You aren't stupid or odd or anything at all. You're simply human. :)

I hope that time will help heal this wound. In the meantime, I think it is best to focus on you and your education. Focus on Weronica for a bit, and everything else tends to fall into place. :)

My best to you. :)
- 0 +



Diaz29
252 days ago
Woe kid, first im sorry for wat happened and second, say you love him, but then ask, 'why do I

love him and wat do i love from him..????' 'Is he worth my tears, my pain, my time'...???? Try to stick in mind wat you meant to him &Wat shld he mean to you!!! Dnt hold a grudge, jst remembr that only your feet can keep you up &Standng,

only your own breath helps you breathe!!!
- 0 +