I'm 35, mother of a 13 yr. old son, recently re-married to an older man. Have a family background of 'not so normal' family that always keeps problems 'in the family.' My son is ADHD, ODD, etc, and grew up around drug use and domestic violence. About 2 years ago, we got out and moved where noone knew us to start over. For awhile things got a lot better for us... We adopted a hands off policy, set 'normal rules' for the house, and started learning boundaries. My health has always been not so great, have messed up discs in my back and hypertension. Also, have always been a nervous person, and not one to socialize. Both of these things, not being properly treated because only 'crazy people have shrinks' is one thing that lead me to recreational drugs and self-medicating. My problem now is because of my past 'addictive behaviors' the pshchiatrist doesn't want to medically treat me at all! I have a severe anxiety disorder that sends me into panic attacks often(my son loves to 'push my buttons too!) He also says i'm bipolar as well and says we have to get my moods stabilized, since he's not doing anything i'd like to know how? My son fights me every step of the way and does exactly the opposite of what i try to do. My husband, being older, seems to feel a kind of 'culture shock.' We have been married about 6 months now. things were ok till he was diagnosed with emphesema and he's been off work. Between the two of them, I have no peace! They constantly argue and want me to take sides...i can't even go to the bathroom anymore without there being a 'meltdown!' I know we all have problems but i've told them thatI can't take anymore! If it doesn't involve me then I shouldn't have to be there as a mediator. Between doctors, therapists, appointments, insurance companies, bills, etc...I don't know how much more I can take! Twice in the last week I have nearly hit my son in the face because he was throwing things, and I've screamed at them both!!! I finally got an appointment with a different psychiatrist but it's not until July 2nd...HELP!!!



Answers


Chemar
800 days ago
Hi

I sure can understand why you are feeling overwhelmed dealing with all that!

It is good that you are going to see a different psychiatrist.

Is your son in therapy? If not, it sounds like he should be. He also needs to show respect for your new husband, though I realize with his diagnosis, some of his behavior is symptomatic.

It really sounds to me like you would all benefit from some form of family counseling as the only way to really establish peace in a home is to set reasonable boundaries, but if these cannot be worked out in a peaceful way, having a "mediator" on neutral territory to guide things may be the best way

Hope things get better soon.



bella
800 days ago
I'm sorry you're overwhelmed. Are you clean from drugs ATM? Basically you were self medicating to cope. Have you been tested for adult ADHD? If not you should speak with this new doctor and get help with all your stress at home. Is your son on medication? I agree with Chemar - your son should be seeing a doctor. Is there a YMCA club near you - would be good for your son to get some physical exercise. You mentioned you have pain in your back - are you in treatment for this?