Avatar Posted by ogden1480 87 days ago (Question)
theres this group of guys at my school(about half the boys basketball team) and for some reason they're really mean to me. i hate when i have to walk past them in the hallway. they all stop and stare at me and make me feel really uncomfortable and sometimes they laugh. i try really hard to ignore them but it always seems to get the best of me. i spend literally my entire day at school being self conscious and thinking that everyone is looking and judging me. it really sucks.
it was my birthday and no one knew because i dont have much friends and i never told the people that i talk to at school that it was by bday, but it was the worst day because i was sent to the basketball coaches homeroom to pick up papers and since it was the coachs homeroom the whole basketball team was in there. when i went in i could feel them staring and making fun and i just wanted to run away as fast as possible. they're all 17 18 and they act like were in elementry school..
its really starting to take its toll and i get really depressed and cry at home. i dont know why they do this to me. i was never rude to them or anything. i dont even know their names. i hate myself for crying over them.
even though its my senior year i just want to leave now and never come back and its getting harder and harder to get out of bed in the morning and i kind of think about killing myself because i can't live my life like this.
i dont know what to do to get past this ?



Answers


Chemar
87 days ago
Hi

so sorry you are being treated that way!

Sadly, physical and emotional bullying is very common at school, and the most important thing for you to realize is it is THEM, not you, who have a problem!!

My oldest son was teased and picked on at school too so I understand, but even tho it did make him a bit introverted, he is living a full and successful life now with good friends. Thankfully he realized that the bullies were not worth him worrying about, even tho yes, it is hurtful when people are mean to someone they have absolutely no reason to pick on. Usually they do it in "gangs"...but get them alone and they are either cowards or pretty insecure themselves.

So just know that things will get better once you are out of school and living your life without all that. In the meantime, you may want to talk to a school counselor about this....or if you feel able to, talk to your parents

Remember, the more the bullies see that they are getting to you, the more they are inclined to keep it up, but if you just ignore them, you reduce their "power" over you
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bella
87 days ago
Hi ogden1480 - it didn't come up and I don't assume things...so would you mind if I ask if you male or female. Its relevant to know in a bullying situation. I think its so sad and immature when kids /young adults bully. Do you think it would help if you let the school handle this?? Do you know why you would be a target? Each bullying situation is different and there's varying ways to handle it.

In this case, try not to look down and walk confidently. Don't show its bothering you by looking embarrassed or sad. Since this is your last year, try your best not get down about it. If it doesn't let up then do speak to your teacher, guidance counselor or principal. Bullying is such a problem in schools. Its too bad, they're pathetic followers on this team. I want you to stay strong and never think about killing yourself for any reason. If it doesn't improve do speak to your school or parents.
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ogden1480
87 days ago
I'm a girl
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bella
87 days ago
Thanks for the reply Ogden1480 - what do you usually do when you see them or when they laugh/stare? If you look down or look the other way, this will encourage them more. Make brief eye contact, then look straight but confident. How long has this been going on for. Do you know one of the guys who's nice? If so ask him why they're doing this? If it gets worse then get the school involved. The year will be over soon, so hang in there.
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ogden1480
87 days ago
whenever i see or hear them i do usually look down or the other way. it starte back in 10th grade when i first moved from here to PA from indiana. a girl i know knows all of them and she tells me how nice and funny they are and she says she can't understand or believe they are like this to me. i don't know any of them. but i just hate having to see them and go through this everyday and i don't want to anymore.
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MEdwards
87 days ago
Hey there Ogden.

I would tell you not to let this kids (I can assure you they haven't earned the right to be called an adult yet for making you feel this way) bother you...you're a bigger person than they are.

Bella gave great advice. Make eye contact with them, and then go about your day. If one of them says something about the eye contact (IE "What're you looking at?"), look dead at the person who said it, and then move on about your day. I know that isn't comfortable, but every time you look down, they think they've won, and achieved their goal, if that makes sense. :(

You said you're a senior, no? Try to take solace in the fact that after this year, you'll likely never see these guys again. You just need to try to power through this year without letting these kids get the upper hand on you.

Stay strong Ogden. :) You're a better person than they are. Don't let them make you think otherwise.
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Cayceatbat
85 days ago
Nothing matters more than your being able to feel safe and secure. I do not think even SCHOOL, matters as much. These people are not likely to stop behaving like this regardless of what you do. How about homeschooling your final year? There are online schools. It doesn't seem like that school has people who you even enjoy being around. You could get a GED, or school choice to a different school. Life is too precious to be spent feeling misery that you don't have control over. I think if you have already tried to figure this out and tried to get it stopped maybe you could find an alternative to having to be in that miserable place. I hope that you have told your family about this. Also, one other thought, have you tried to actually talk to THE COACH? Most coaches would address it if they were made aware that so many of the team members are behaving like bullies to someone.
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