Avatar Posted by sadie09 145 days ago (Question)
I'm hoping maybe someone can give me a fresh perspective on things since I'm so stuck in my own little world lately.

I feel like my world is closing in on me. I have social anxiety disorder and probably other issues too but that one is causing so much trouble in my life right now. I want to get better but I'm so overwhelmed because it feels like I have a million things to "fix" in my life right now.

I am not being a good wife and haven't been for a while, I push everyone away and don't want to deal with feelings, I am self destructing by trying to self medicate with food - which is making me put on the weight I lost and get fat again - which compounds all my problems because I feel so uncomfortable being fat and feel everyone is judging how fat I am and looking at me that much more.

The social anxiety is getting to the point I don't want to go out of the house to do certain things, I always feel like everyone is watching me or out to get me. I particularly feel this way around strange men - I know it isn't logical but I can't help it. I have vague fuzzy thoughts that I may have experienced a sexual trauma when I was younger and it set me up for a lifetime of trying to protect myself from everyone and everything.

About protecting myself - I feel an extreme need to protect my privacy, whether it's what I'm eating, what I'm doing, anything personal, you name it. I have freaked out many times when I have felt my privacy was violated. Like if I feel I have total privacy and so I'm eating, and then I catch someone watching me eat, I feel angry and violated. Maybe it is linked to the whole being fat thing and feeling ashamed. I don't know!

I know I am not a normal 30 year old women. I barely have ANY friends at all, I treat my husband like crap sometimes and I don't know why, and I'm just stuck. And I'm angry that I'm stuck again. I went through lots of depression in my twenties and I thought I was over that...but here I am.

I am seeing a therapist again but I don't feel like I'm getting much out of it - 60 minutes is just so short. I'm thinking about going to an intensive 5 day treatment program for the social anxiety since that is the most pressing issue.

Any thoughts or recommendations on how to get to where I want to be? Which is just happy and carefree!?


Answers

Written by Edahn 144 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hello.

I'm sorry you're going through all that. I know the feeling of being overwhelmed by your own issues.

I think there are two layers to what's going on. There is definitely some underlying self-consciousness (which ties together the eating habits and the social anxiety). There are also self-control challenges coming up (which ties together your eating habits and the way you're treating your husband).

On top of all that, you are thinking too fast and feeling overwhelmed and confused. That leads to a state of disorientation and just feeling "stuck." This layer creates a barrier to recovery. In my opinion, everyone can heal themselves by being patient and looking into what's happening in them and what they're reacting to. Most of our reactions happen unconsciously, but when we become conscious of them, we can figure out exactly what medicine we need.

So, if I were you, I would try and practice being conscious of what's going on. Forget about solving all of it right now. Just see what's going on. See what you're reacting too. How are those reactions unfolding? How do they feel? By being conscious and honest with yourself, you can start to understand what's going on and how to best treat it. Try to bring awareness into all aspects of your life, ESPECIALLY during the times you're having trouble: when eating, when with people, and with your husband.

Mystical disciplines call this technique mindfulness. A great book I would recommend is Eckhart Tolle's "A New Earth" or Brach's "Radical Acceptance." Remember that the key here is PATIENCE and taking it slow. You can supplement it all by doing things that help you slow down, like listening to soothing music or any kind of art. I would also suggest you try and keep your living space clean. Be conscious of your impulses and reactions to eat.

Does that sound like something you can try?

Written by Clyde 144 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

The treatment you mentioned may be good for you, and hopefully it is.

Have you checked everything out about it and stuff? Verified it with the BBB and all sorts of stuff like that?

Also, maybe seeing a different therapist might be advisable?

Best,

Clyde

Written by msoctoberalles 144 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi I have almost the same feelings you have I have gained 15 lbs in the last year and while im still in the safe weight range i am terrified for my old friends to see me or really even my family that i have not seen since i was smaller .I am way to uncomfortable eating in front of people and I feel like everyone is looking at me or judging me it really sucks because on top of all that I have an anxiety disororder to the point sometimes I have to shut myself away from everyone and everything and it is horrible when you feel like you are shutting the people you want around you the most out and your upset over almost anything in that instant.I have been prescribed zoloft and I could not stand the side effects I have tryed alot of things to help me and I found this stuff online called seryden I stand by it all the way in the last two weeks I have started to go into panic mode and both time I have taken one pill and within 20mns everything passes and I am comfortable I am breathing normal and I actually get up and want to accomplish something like a few situps or call some old friends its all natural so its not something that invades your brain like the meds from the hospital I am not saying that if your supposed to be taking something you shouldnt but I would suggest this to you ,it has made my life so much better and I feel like I can get through the weight issue


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