Avatar Posted by cdaaens 48 days ago (Question)
I have an impossible time letting people get close to me. I've gone on very few dates and I have to force myself to go through with them. I love to flirt and be close to people and I want nothing more than to be able to function in a relationship. But as soon as someone becomes interested in me I completely shut down, I run away and don't talk to the person. I'm a really lonely person but I can't seems to allow myself to be happy with someone. I get really sick thinking about going on an upcoming date so I cancel because I'm afraid. This fear doesn't seem like anything I've ever felt and that I can't control it. I've tried to date guys but I always shut down and run away. I'm afraid I'll never have a functioning relationship and that I'll never get married. I wish i could figure out how to control my irrational fear of letting guys get close to me, that I could let someone in. I have absolutely no problem letting my close friends in but as soon as it becomes romantic I can't handle it. I'd really like some help with this.


Answers

Written by Chemar 48 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi

is there anything related to your family or personal life experiences that you think may have triggered this?

sometimes being able to talk through fears that seem to have no basis can help one overcome them so kudos to you for taking that step.

we can sure try to help you here as much as possible, but it may be that you need that one on one therapy that a professional psychologist can give to help you work thru these fears and insecurities about close relationships.

Written by helpinghand21234 48 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hey,

I know exactly what you mean. I'm 20 and in my situation, I feel uncomfortable because I am afraid of opening up because that makes me feel vulnerable. Even though girls think I'm attractive, I still have a bunch of insecurities that I'm afraid to show others because I'm afraid of rejection. One of my main ones is that I went through a major depression three years ago, and had rapid weight gain. As a result, I have scarring on my body due to rapid weight gain. I am in so much better shape now (abs starting to become defined), but the scars are still there, and I'm planning on getting some laser procedures done to minimize them.

Maybe its because we have insecurities and don't like feeling vulnerable that we feel this way towards opening up to other people. I think it's fear of rejection.

I hope this helps, and always know that you're not alone in your sufferings, even though everyone is impersonal these days (because a capitalist pull affects EVERYTHING).

Best,

Helpinghand21234

Written by Clyde 45 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Why do you feel you are pushing others away? What are you afraid of happening?

Could you or would you think about one on one therapy?

Best,

Clyde


Log in to answer or register here.