I'm really starting to drive myself crazy. I was never like this before my boyfriend cheated on me. I used to be so understanding and kind of 'whatever' about everything because nothing seemed to bother me.
My boyfriend went away to school in a town about two hours away from me two summers ago. While he was there he began talking to this girl on the internet he used to have a "sexual relationship" with. I found out less than a week after he talked to her because I went on his computer and found the messages. I took him back and explained to him that nothing would be the same anymore, and that there will be consequences to what he's done. After that he started lying compulsively about things I'm still to this day finding out.
It's been a year since he's cheated on me with this girl, ever since then I find out more and more about the things he lied about. He admitted to me that he and this girl used to talk dirty to each other over the phone and internet and it would excite him enough to masturbate. He had also told me that she wasn't the only one he had done that with and there had been at least three others but she was the only one while we were dating. He said the only reason why he lied was because he was he was so ashamed of what he did and he was trying to cover up the fact that he used to do this a lot before we started dating.
Like I said, I told him that things would be different and that I can't trust him, but we fight so much because I don't trust him at all. Sometimes I don't even trust him to go to the store or hang out with his friends or even talk to his friends at all. I'm acting crazy because I don't trust him. I need to know what he's doing constantly which I know drives him crazy. I never used to be like this, I miss the old me so badly and I know he does too.
We have been dating for two years now and I'm realizing he's not the guy he told me he was because he lied so much in the beginning of our relationship. He made constant white lies about who he was and the things he did and liked so I would like him. I hope he understands that I love him just the way he is and I would understand why he did the things he did if he just tells me the truth, because when he lies it never adds up right, so I question him. then we start to fight. He swears that he's changed that he wont lie anymore. The fact that I cant trust is tearing us apart.
How am I supposed to believe him after all the lies and broken promises?
I desperately need someone's advise
Thank you so much for reading
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