Avatar Posted by tizzylizzy 33 days ago (Question)
Right now I am suffering from major anxiety, and I am taking it out on the best man I could have married. The problem is I am going for brain surgery for my epelepsy, and I do not know how to deal with the stress of this, plus I have college on top of this, but I do not want to take it out on my husband. I am afraid I am losing him. What do I do? And how do you deal with the anxiety, and the stress? I cannot lose this man, because he has brought me so far in life, and he means the world to me. I need some help and somebody to talk to. What do I do?


Answers

Written by bellacutie 33 days ago Rating: 1 | Rate Answer: + -

Have you been diagnosed with anxiety disorder or are you having anxiety due to your worries about the brain surgery?? You're certainly welcome to talk about your feelings here. I think you should be honest with your husband and tell him how you're feeling.

Regarding your surgery - I think it's natural to feel worried with any surgery particularly brain or heart surgery because without these we can't function. But I've heard of good results, with treating epilepsy that way. It's important you trust your surgeon and ask alot of questions. I'm assuming you'll be awake during the surgery -that's kind of cool, isn't it? If it makes you feel better there are no nerve endings in brain tissue, so you won't feel anything. I bet you'll be much better once it's done.

For general anxiety I think deep slow breathing exercises are good to learn along with visualization. I remember when I had jaw surgery done to re-align my bite line. I was very nervous because my face is important to me(LOL) and he was sawing my lower jaw, in order to slide it forward. But I really trusted my surgeon and I knew it would help me with the pain in my jaw. So I surrendered my worries - I told myself that "I've thought about it enough and I'm just going to do it and hope for the best". You can take this approach too and if this is going to lessen your epileptic seizures then it will be worth it.

Make sure you're taking good care of yourself with healthy eating and exercise - taking time to relax. It's very important that you have a positive frame of mind before surgery. I wish you the best of luck, hugs, Bella.

Written by tizzylizzy 33 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hello, I thank you for the reply, it means alot to me. And yes alot is due to my surgery. I am going to be awake for the first 4 hours of it. I tell my hubby how I feel, but he is sick of hearing about it. I wish I could get back into my art and photography and wanting to learn web design. I am a very creative person, not to mention a computer nerd, but since I have learned I going through this operation, I have lost interest in all of it. How do you get interest back in this, because that was my life? I feel if I can get back into that, I will be able to relaxe again. And thank you for telling me to have a positive attitude. I will take your advice on that. I will remember what advice you gave me on relaxing. What you told me really means alot to me. Thank you.

Written by bellacutie 33 days ago Rating: 1 | Rate Answer: + -

You're very welcome tizzylizzy(cute name). Things like art, photograpy and design require creative energy and usually when you're stressed it blocks the creativity. The best thing to do is be extra good to yourself and have some fun -maybe rent some funny movies. It would also be good to get into some form of meditation - journaling is also good. Once you feel happier those things should fall into place. Once you've recovered from the surgery - could you post a new question to let me know how it went? I'll pray that all goes well for you :) Bella

Written by tizzylizzy 33 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Thanks for the comment on the name, I like yours too. I do alot of journaling to. Infact I ask myself power questions in the morning and at night. And that helps me alot. Tommorrow I meet with the surgeon and the pre-op nurse to get things started. I will gladly keep you posted as to how things are going. I will be needing some support while I go through this, because it would not be fair to pile this all on my husband, because he has major health problems of his own right now. My goal is to ask the surgon if he/she can connect me to somebody who already had the surgery, and guide me through what I am going through, but it would also be nice to kinda have some one to talk to to guide me through the depression stages.

Written by bellacutie 33 days ago Rating: 1 | Rate Answer: + -

I think that's a great idea about talking to someone who's had the surgery. I would imagine you'll feel alot better after talking to the surgeon and nurses - make sure you write down all the questions you have. I hope you also have some family members who will be there for you. If you want to let me know how you are after the surgery - make sure you post a new one, as this one will be several pages down soon. Best of luck

Written by Clyde 32 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Can you talk to him and explain how you are feeling?

Can you talk to another person who has had the surgery and/or your doctor?

Best,

Clyde

Written by tizzylizzy 32 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I meet with the surgon today. So I will find out more. My husband is sick of hearing about it.

Written by Thisisit 30 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Your husband might be reacting to HIS fear. Every time you mention the surgery, it might be reminding him of HIS greatest nightmare. We all react differently to similar situations. And who knows in advance how another person will respond to something as serious as this? That's not to say you shouldn't speak to him about it or that you're doing anything wrong.

Look on the bright side. With successful surgery right around the corner, your anxiety will likely diminish, your passions should recover, and your husband will hopefully become his old self again.

Good luck and God bless.


Log in to answer or register here.