Avatar Posted by nickie 212 days ago (Question)
I am so sad :( I am in my early 20 and i feel i havent lived at all, becasue i am soooo shy/I have social fobia:/ i keep seeing lost possibilities that i should have taken :( i have never been with a guy because i am too shy and when i am with a guy i really like i think to myself. why the hell would he want me? and walk away :/ this feeling really sucks :/ from my high school i knew almost no one becasue i was so shy too talk to any one. I had about 3 friends :/ and the guys made fun of me because i could go from pale white in the face too blood red in 2 sec ( still can :/ one of my problemes)
i have been to a psychologist :) but it didnt work for me :/ i when almost 7 times and nothing changed :/


Answers

Written by bellacutie 212 days ago Rating: 1 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi Nickie,

I think you most likely have all three to some degree. How you're feeling is very common. I was very shy when I was younger and felt like I missed out alot in grade school and high school. The great news is, it's very managable. Blushing - oh I known that sensation very well and I still do sometimes.

It could be that you didn't have the right psychologist - maybe you should try another one. But you may not even need one! The first thing you need to learn is, don't listen to that critical voice in your head - because it lies. Don't be your own worst enemy. It's okay that you haven't been with a guy yet. One thing you can do when you're feeling nervous, is, don't get upset about it. Then I suggest doing some slow deep breathing while thinking positive thoughts.

If I can do it, so can you. Your shyness will never go completely away and that's okay. But you can manage it to a tolerable level. Shyness has a way of holding us back and it's tells us that we can't do things. It always sabotages our plans and scares us into believing that we'll fail. But it's okay to fail - just keep trying. It's better to try, than miss out on the opportunaties that life has to offer. Social phobia is like any other phobia - de-sensitization works best. So the more you put yourself out there, the easier it's gets. I have said this many times here, that I went from terribly shy to becoming a model. So there is hope and you can learn to overcome this. Best of luck.

Written by speedy123 211 days ago Rating: 1 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi Nickie

Shyness holds us back from doing the things we enjoy and building relationships. Bella says it all. Simple small steps of talking to people will help to build your self confidence. Give it a try, the longer you put it off the harder it becomes. Good Luck

Speedy

Written by Clyde 210 days ago Rating: 1 | Rate Answer: + -

I agree. Shyness never completely leaves...yet there are ways of dealing with it.

Learn some relaxation techniques.

Best,

Clyde


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