Avatar Posted by Dreamseeker54 197 days ago (Question)
We had been dating going on a year. She said she loved me but backed out of the wedding. She was the love of my love but admitted she didn't have what I needed. She said she tried. I have been grieving now for more than 40 days and can't stop. Medication doesn't help. I have put everything away reminding me of the wedding and her. I can't seem to move on.What's wrong with me?


Answers

Written by bellacutie 197 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi,

I don't think there's anything wrong with you and I think it's normal to still feel sad since it's only been 40 days. What did she mean when she said "she didn't have what you needed"? Did she elaborate why she made this decision?This doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you - it may mean that for some reason she wasn't ready to get married.

Grieving takes time and it's different for everyone. It's important to have closure, so you don't have to wonder why it happened. I know this probably doesn't help, but it's better to find out now, than after you get married. One thing that helps, is to think that it was meant to be and God wants it this way.

Just because she changed her mind, doesn't mean you're flawed. Try not to let it consume your life and make you sad, after all you're still the same person. Perhaps there's someone else who is a better match for you. Try to be kind and patient with yourself. Take comfort in your friends and family. I hope you feel better. :)

Written by Edahn 197 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Nothing's wrong with you! I wouldn't even mess with medication unless you're really horrible.

This sadness is totally normal and healthy. It's an indication that you had real feelings for this woman and know how to truly love. That's a good thing. You're now having to deal with what happens when you lose that love. IT SUCKS and for a while there's absolutely no hope. You can't see anything good ever coming to you.

But, if you keep your head on straight and stay objective and balanced, you'll eventually begin to heal (with time) and see that there is still hope and that maybe, she wasn't the perfect girl for you, or that it doesn't matter and you can find someone else.

For now, just be patient and keep your dignity close to you. It will suck and hurt and that's okay. Try and make good decisions for yourself. If you need to be with friends, or take a night where you don't think about it and just watch a movie, or do some writing or reflecting, go for it.

Written by Clyde 179 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Fourty days is no time at all to grieve. Allow yourself more time to feel the way you are feeling. It is indeed horrible what has happened to you, but be patient.

Spend time with friends and family and find something that will help keep your mind off of what is going on inside.

Best,

Clyde


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