Well, I need some advice.

High School has come around this year again and I don't know what to do with myself. I'm in the 11th grade, and ever since 6th grade, I've always been shy. I remember in elementary school, I was very social with everyone and always making friends. Then people started bullying me (verbally) as I gradually reached 6th grade and I became shy. So, ever since 6th grade I've always been shy and it hurts me everyday.

I was shy in 9th and 10th grade, and only made a few friends. I love meeting new people when I do, and talking to people. I want to make new friends this year. I just don't know how to make friends, or what to say to people to start a conversation. I don't want to look stupid when I try to talk to people and get awkwardly stuck in a conversation (it has happened before).

I have a lunch by myself, all of my other friends have a different lunch time. So I just go to the library or sit with the anime club (i'm in the club, but they don't really talk to me). I hate doing that. I want to be able to walk up to somebody during my lunch time and talk to them comfortably. I've asked my boyfriend for advice, and he just told me to try to talk to people without even thinking about making friends. But it's hard. I don't ever know what to say.

Kids are so mean in my school (not to me), and I don't want to be ignored trying to talk to someone. Every time I think about my situation, it just makes me cry and it's making me depressed. I am very open, funny, and talkative with my friends. But with people I don't know, I am as quiet as a mouse. I don't want to be a shy person when I'm an adult, that won't help at all. Being shy has stopped me with so many things: running for class president, homecoming princess, and joining the youth theatre. I've dreamed of running for those in middle school, and now it looks like that won't ever happen. I don't know what to do. Advice?


Answers


bella
2480 days ago
Aeriss,

I'm sorry you had bad experiences with bullying. There's some very mean kids out there and each situation is different. The methods to handle bullying also vary - sometimes ignoring works and other times you may have to stick up for yourself and other times an adult has to intervene.

You don't think you were shy before grade 6? I was also very shy and unhappy being this way. Since this is your last year, I think you should just go for it. Observe how confident people act - they walk and talk with confidence...they don't look at the ground and they don't let others get them down. You can tell who the nice kids are - right? Make some casual conversation about school, teachers, sports, assignments, etc. If you don't get a positive response, don't feel discouraged and try with someone else.

I'm not saying looks are the most important but at least take a realistic look at your overall appearance - good grooming etc. Since you have a good sense of humor, start using it - this is one of the best qualities for a person to have. Go a head and try out for plays or anything else you want to do.

I didn't learn to manage my shyness until I got out of high school and I wish someone advised me about being more easy going. Lack of confidence and shyness makes us ultra critical of ourselves - we worry far too much about what others think. Think of the shyness, as a prison - it time to break free and just have a great year. Don't worry about what other people think - there will always be a few negative people and there not worth worrying about. I regret not making the most out of my school years - don't you regret it too ;) Good luck.



Aeriss
2480 days ago
To Bella,

Thanks for the answer. I've been thinking lately of auditioning for the youth theater. So I'm gonna go ahead and just give it a try. I'll just ignore the anxiety that comes with it. Maybe it'll finally help me break out of my shyness. I'm gonna start looking up monologues now!

Wish me luck. :)



Chemar
2480 days ago
Hi

I agree with Bella and am glad to see you posted that you are going to try out for the theater

Try not to pay attention to mean people and bullies...hard as it is to ignore them...remember *they* are the ones who have a problem, not you!



bella
2480 days ago
Good luck Aeriss - do your best to enjoy school and the activities available. Live in moment and be carefree. Don't listen to the negative voice in your head that holds you back.