Avatar Posted by kviana 119 days ago (Question)
Please, I need some help with this I am very upset. I did something on the 4th of July that completley was not like me. I had too much to drink and I don't remember a thing. Apparently I got very angry, I hit some people (none of which were any of my best girl friends) and then I fell out of a moving car. I was hospitalized for 7 days. My boyfriend came to visit me, my best girl friends came to visit me, as well as my best guy friends. It seems to me that everything is fine with them, but one of my best girl friends just seems very distant. Whenever I text her she always answers but just seems very short with me. When I spoke to two of them including her making sure they weren't mad at me the one friend that sends me the shorts texts told me that they love me the most and seemed to me like everything was fine. I know that in the past she was short with her texts when she is hanging out with her boyfriend but I just feel like she doesn't call me anymore and does not want to hang out with me as much. This may just be my anxiety because one of my other best girl friends said that she is short in the texting with her as well but I just feel like she wants to talk to my other best girl friend more and hang out with her more. Also she works a lot and is very busy at work. I don't know what to think. Please help me! Thank you!


Answers

Written by Fpsy 119 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I would worry less about what your friends now think of you. You can't do anything about what happened in the past. You can do something now. The first thing is to address why you drank so much and behaved in such risk taking behavior. We have all made mistakes, but being in hospital means you were doing some really dangerous stuff. Maybe your friends care about you but have seen a side of you that bothers them and they don't want to be around that.

You have been honest about what you did and that is the best start. It takes courage to own up to behavior that we would rather forget about. The next step is work out how not to do it again. You need to address why you want to drink to excess what is driving this? and then you to show your friends that you are changing.

Why do you drink so much? do you do this regularly ? How much do you drink? We live in a culture that says that drinking is ok, but it's not ok. Advertising and media are all designed to sell drinking as something that is normal and fun to do. But they are trying to sell you something to make a profit and that is all they are doing.

Learn to have fun without alcohol and without all the damage and destruction that excess alcohol causes. If you need to appologise to people for what you did then do it. Own up to your mistakes, don't excuse the alcohol but acknowledge that you drank to much and don't want to do it again.

If you think you might need the help of a therapist to unpack all the reasons for the drinking then search one out. If money is a problem there should be community health centres or county health clinics around to help with that. If your not sure where to start you local doctor can help or if your in colleague or school, the campus counselor.

Written by Edahn 119 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I think you need to earn her trust back slowly. She has to see that you are safe and stable, and that you share her view that behavior like that is completely unacceptable. That will take a little time for her to calm down and for you to stabilize and stop drinking or acting out. It also takes a little time so you can reflect on what happened and decide, with certainty, that you don't want to be that person, and that behavior like that is truly out of character.

Even though you say it's out of character for you, you still did it and it might help if you understood what happened. There are lots of possibilities from medical disorders, medication conflict (if you're on medication), repressed anger, or just immaturity. You can look at your life and take your best guess and figure out the best way to move forward to a better, balanced life. When you start living that better life, contact your friend and see if she's ready to trust you again.

Hugs

Written by Clyde 116 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I also feel that you have to get her trust back slowly. Realize that since you cannot change things that you dont want to be that person again, and will stay sober and be improved from now on.

Best,

Clyde


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