Avatar Posted by charfox3 68 days ago (Question)
I am concerned about my sister and do not know where to turn. My sister thinks she is being followed by someone (the police or gang members - she works in some less then disirable areas) and this has been going on for many months. It was originally a year ago she said she was chased and in the last six months she has been telling everyone she is being followed. She and I have not been close in the last two years and when she contacted me 6 months ago she shared with me about being followed. 2 months later her husband and best friend were going to try and do a 5150. At that same time she found out her non-citizen husband was having an affair and kicked him out. She has always been a social person, but now she is not wanting to be in social settings, paranoid, having a hard time leaving her house so her work is being affected and she is losing friends because of her erratic behavior. She went to a therapist who told her she had post tramatic stress disorder. She does not believe it, feels she is still being followed and has since stopped seeing the therapist. She has more recently changed her will and is lashing out saying that she can only take so much on her own. A couple of family and friends have been talking with her, but she keeps saying that no one has been there for her and she doesn't trust anyone not even to go to a doctor to get prescribed anti-anxiety medication, which she used to be on. When I ask her to give me examples of being followed it sounds like day to day stuff or coincedental things; 1) Car cutting her off and then flipping her off. 2) People sitting down talking when she comes out of a building, they look at her and then get up and leave. 3) People looking at her as she walks her dog down the street from her house.
She has always re-hashed things over and over since we were little and you have to agree with her or she gets upset, but this is beyond extreme. She continues to re-hash the same incidents that make her think she is being followed and gets angry with me during every conversation unless it is focused on her and what I feel is now 'crazy talk'. I am concerned and do not know how to convince her to get help.
~c


Answers

Written by Chemar 68 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi

apart from the trauma of finding out about her husband having an affair...do you know if she has possibly had a traumatic event occur that may have triggered this?

Written by charfox3 68 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

When she was chased a year ago. Evidently she was starting to feel like someone was following her after that, but moreso six months ago. She had told me a few months ago that this therapist had diagnosed her PTSD due to traumatic experience.

Written by Chemar 68 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

ah ok thanks. I wasnt sure if she was accosted by whoever chased her initially. That very possibly could have been so terrifying that it has triggered these fears or PTSD for her. wondering too tho if maybe she is holding back on telling of something else that may have traumatized her this badly

you mention that she has been emotionally volatile since you were little, so it is possible that there is more happening than just PTSD. It really sounds like she needs to be able to speak with a trustworthy professional to try to get actual therapy rather than just a medication

was the anti-anxiety med helping her when she took it?

hopefully she will agree to go see a doctor or therapist...maybe a different one than before if she wants to get a second opinion. I am sure she must be very unhappy feeling like this and so maybe she would consent to try therapy again.

I hope you will continue to just be as calm and caring with her as you can.I know it cant be easy, but at least she will feel more comfortable maybe to open up more with you. Releasing her fears without feeling she is being doubted or judged may be very helpful for her...even if it is "all in her head"...better she should be able to get it out to someone who cares about her. She is blessed to have a sister who wants to help her

Written by charfox3 68 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Thank you! I will try to do that. I appreciate your advice!

Written by Fpsy 68 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi Charfox,

I think your doing a great job so far. I just want to emphasize that it's important when you talk to your sister than you do not use aggression or anger in your voice, although I realize how hard it must be not to be irritated with her. So far you seem to be calm and supportive and that is fantastic.

I agree that your sister needs to be assessed by a psychiatrist or clinical psychologist. I think first off encouraging her to get to a doctor might be the best bet.

Don't try to argue with her about her paranoia, let her talk, but don't necessarily agree either, just listen. People usually feel more comfortable going to a doctor about physical things than mental health things. Ask her how her sleeping is going, if she is tired all the time, does she feel well physically, because that might be an inroads to seeing the doctor. Let your sister know you will go with her for support. If you can, it might help to get a list of contacts of a number of different doctors and let her choose the one that she feels the most comfortable with.

The other thing I want to bring up is drug use, is she using drugs to cope with any trauma she may have had in her past. If so this only exacerbates things. Drug use can lead to paranoia like you have described and she will have need treatment for this if she is using and is using heavily.

Keep building trust with your sister as this will be the way forward for change to occur. Reassure her that it is ok to reach out for help.

Whilst all information about your sister is confidential with the doctor, there is no reason why you can't go and see the family doctor and talk about your concerns. You might want to write down on paper first of all, how your sister was as a child, any significant traumatic events that she says occurred and any differences in her behavior, mood, eating sleeping patterns etc that you now have observed and how long this has been going on. Your doctor may be able to provide you with some advice on who to contact and what to do.

There is also a community mental health center that you can contact and ask about advice. If the situation with your sister is serious they may do an outreach visit to help you.

I hope this helps.

Written by charfox3 68 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Thank you! That all sounds really great! I appreciate the reminder too to be calm and supportive. I have to admit I have been starting to get upset and lose my patience with her and it has been coming through when talking with her. -- In answer to the question about drugs, she does not do any drugs nor does she drink really. Only does she have an occasional social drink.

Written by Fpsy 68 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi again,

it's good news that your sister is not taking any drugs, because that just complicates things more. I also want to remind you to take care of yourself, having a family member with a mental health problem can be hard for all family members. It's important that you take time away from her and socialize with your own friends, and chill out away from the stress. Your doctor or community mental health center should be able to provide you with family support.

It would be good if you could write back to us and let us know if you make headway in getting help for your sister. But if you don't that's ok.

Written by katwoman 66 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

You are really doing a very good job being helpful and supportive. Your sister is so lucky to have you. I've never been one to "beat around the bush", so I won't start now. I think you may have an extremely hard time getting her to seek professional help on her own. She definitely needs it, and I believe she definitely needs to be medicated. I pray for you that it doesn't come to this, however, someone, (you?), may have to step up and institutionalize her. Not permanently, but she has to get over the "hump" of the beginning of psychotherapy and recovery. She can't go on like this; it's not good for her nor for those who love her. I'm not trying to be rude; please don't think that. I sincerely want her, you, and everyone to be ok. I simply want to offer you truths that you may have to face, and options. You need all you can get right now. I've been in a very similar situation before, and it got really ugly. I pray that it doesn't for you. You're obviously a good person. Do some research on how to go about what I've suggested. This way you'll be prepared, IF you have to be. Take care of yourself. I'll pray for peace and for you both to have your lives back quickly.

Written by Clyde 49 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I agree as well. It is quite awesome that your sister has someone like you. Please also take time for yourself.

Best,

Clyde


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