what is going on in my life and mind?

Posted by lcerny 185 days ago (Question)

im a 19 yr old ive lived without my parents since ive been 17 i have lived with family and recently with my ex. but i dont know wat is goin on in my mind i broke up wiht my ex casuse he lied to me and ended up in jail for something that happened a long time ago he was only in jail for 3 weeks i lived in the apt by myself..i moved out and broke up with him on mothers day. i miss him so much i dont know wat i should do should i go back or should i move on he calls me textes me everyday 24/7..but this is my problem i want him and i want to move to flordia where my mom and sister live i havent seen my mom in a year but i talk to her alot i fight with my mom and sister all the time and i dont know what the point of going to florida is or what the point of going back with him is..i live with my grandparent s and they want me to go live by my mom...one day i wanna live in florida the next i wanna spend my life with my ex omg i dont know wat to do i feel like im going crazy! PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE OTHER THEN PEOPLE I KNOW :(

4 Answers

Answers

Written by bellacutie 184 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi Icerny,

I think you're very confused and I don't think you can make good decisions when you're like this. Let me ask you a couple questions. What is your ex in jail for/do you have job or plans to go to college? Did you and your ex have a good relationship aside from the fact that he went to jail for a short time and does he have plans for his life? I think it's natural to be confused because you are at a crossroad in your life and are feeling pressured to make a decision. You first need to calm yourself down and don't pressure yourself until you feel more calm and centered. You can achieve this by being kind to yourself, meaning - eating well, regular exercise, sleeping well and relaxing your mind - then you will be putting yourself in a better position to make an informed healthy decision. It 's also good to only listen to people who you feel are looking out for your best interests - but ultimately the decision should be yours and derived from your own intuition(gut instincts). You need to analyze if your relationship with your ex is a healthy one, that has a future.

When you're feeling calmer try to come up with some short term goals and long term goals. Some people find it helpful to write them down in a journal and even plot your goals and dreams on a sheet of bristol board. For example if you hope to buy a car - you would put a picture of a car and how you would be able to achieve that. You can do this with anything you want to achieve - the idea being if you see it everyday, then its a reminder to keep you on track. The bottom line is, you need to be kind and get yourself centered so that you'll be able to make the right decisions. I forgot to mention that meditation and learning slow deep breathing also does wonders for making you feel calmer. Best of luck.:)

Written by Edahn 184 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

bella, you and I see the same things.

Icerny, I also think you're a little overwhelmed and that's preventing you from KNOWING WHAT'S TRULY BEST FOR YOU. That's all you really need to know, but if you're really restless and agitated, your mind is going to go back and forth about possibilities and hypotheses rather than looking at what you KNOW TO BE TRUE and using that information to make the BEST DECISION you can for your LONG-TERM happiness.

Take a little time to try and bring some calmness in the face of all these decisions you will be making. Journaling, drawing, and listening to mellow music is a great start, as is exercise and yoga. Keep a few important questions in the back of your mind like: what kind of person do I want to become? What kinds of decisions will help me be that person? What do I need to do that I've been resisting?

Good luck.

Written by saiphstar 184 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

This guy is leeching your time/energy and LOVE. find a guy who babies you, not the other way around! you have had it hard growing up and I believe if you take a Vow to yourself, to not do a serious relationship for another full year, you will feel so much better. gl.

GL

Written by Clyde 176 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I think it is indeed hard to decide when you are confused as you are with the relationship.

Can you give yourself sometime to think about what is really important in your life?

Best,

Clyde