I'm in my late thirties and have what many generally believe are a lot of talents and abilities. In fact I have my hands in so many pies but I never seem to excel in anything and all are left half done. Even when I try to focus on just one thing I end up failing. I am almost afraid to succeed and I feel time is running out for me. Please help me!


Answers


bella
1801 days ago
Is this question in relation to finding what job suits you or in your personal life(hobbies). It could be a self confidence issue where even if you're succeeding you imagine you're going to fail so you just give up. I think you should ask yourself out of all the talents and abilities which one gives you the most passion(happiness) and is likely to earn you a good living - then stick with that. In other words narrow down 1 choice out of all your talents/abilities and leave the rest as hobbies that you tinker with. Regarding failing - it's okay to fail - sometimes it takes many tries and practice to become good. Examine which one of your talents makes you want to wake up everyday and is most likely to bring an income and immerse yourself in that. Good luck. :) Bella



Aidetaiyo
1801 days ago
It has to do with work. Where I live even a hobby must be made to count for income. Thank you for your contribution. I think if there's one choice out of the lot, it would be screenwriting/Directing



PAmom
1801 days ago
I have a similar problem.

What I discovered about myself is that I was using doing too much to hide. I know that may sound strange. I have always been fearful of public gatherings, especially if I might just meet people and have to interact. So, what I do is that I find something to do, some duty that needs to be preformed, some volunteer situation. This way I can justify not talking to others or meeting others. I would know many people in the crowd, but they never truly got to know me, as I was always doing other things and not putting myself out there to allow anyone to get to know me. I have accomplished much in my 60 yrs, but in the end, very, very few people truly know me today. I have always described myself and the wallflower standing against the wall hoping no one would approach me and only coming out if I really knew the answer, and that was a rarity for I could never be an intelligent as everyone else….surely!

So, I can see that you may be doing the same thing. Doing too much and using those tasks to hide from what may be a fear for you too.

I don't doubt you have many talents and skills and are able to do all that you do. I have many talents too, but I know that I set myself up to fail all too often. I have even won a national award for my achievements. But sometimes we get ourselves in too deep and over-task ourselves in an effort to hide from what we may not even realize we fear.

I have been in therapy for the better part of 45 years and I am just now discovering this about myself. Please don’t wait another 30 years as I have done to find out why you do what you do. My "homework"...so to speak...most recently has been to put myself into environments that are uncomfortable for me and NOT volunteer to do anything. This puts me into the uncomfortable position of having to actually interact with people outside of a dutiful/volunteer position. It is hard work, but it is something I must do for my own self-healing.



Aidetaiyo
1801 days ago
Thank you for sharing your experience. You have accomplished stuff but all I seem to have is potential from what is considered a bent of talent. Part of my worry also is growing with this till its too late. In volunteering I think we are similar because I find myself taking on other people's ideas and efforts and then helping them on to achieving success but leave my own matters undone. Is this some kind of mental condition or syndrome?



KevinC
1798 days ago
This sounds very similar to my situation. I have a very fertile mind and almost anything interests me. The downside to that is I have a difficult time staying focused long enough to complete something.

I did learn something valuable in the past number of years. I learned that all those things I was doing didn't really express who I am - they were just things I did because they were fun and easy.

If I can offer a suggestion for something you can consider, it is this:

Find out what you love to do (even if you don't get paid) and pursue it as a career. Forget about what everyone says you should do or even what you think you 'should' do. Do what you love and the money will follow.

For myself personally, I've given up chasing dollars for my personal happiness. I've changed my life completely and I am now focusing on writing, art, and music. They have been a constant in my life - and now I've got to do it - it is a part of me I can no longer ignore.

I'm over 50, so I'm scared as heck, but I know I made the right decision. I just re-designed my life to accommodate this new freedom. Part-time work supports my creativity.

I realize that if you have people depending on you to stay employed that this would be incredibly difficult, but if you really want to experience life at its fullest - you need to make some hard decisions.

It won't be easy, but if you invest the time, you will be happy with the decision you make.

Hope this helps.

Namaste



godsl8y
1798 days ago
You sound like me...and at 58, I was finally diagnosed with Adult ADD. I would suggest reading the book, "Delivered from Distraction" by Drs. Hallowell and Ratey. If you see yourself in this, like I did, then go to a psychiatrist to explore the medications. There are so many undiagnosed adult women.

Bless you,

Diane



Clyde
1791 days ago
Theres nothing wrong at all with having a fertile mind or being interested in things. But you do also have to realize you need to have or maintain good useful employment while you do so.

And while the job you have at the present may not be what you really want (my full time job isnt my favorite, but its a good, steady job), you need to work with what you got and do the rest when you have the free time for it.

Life is not over at your age. You have to realize though, none of it ever happens over night.

Best,

Clyde