i hate being shy, i have alot of friends, and im fine around them, but in class or in public places im so different and i dont like talking infront of people. when my teacher asks me a question i just shrug my shoulders, because when i answer i just shutter and cant get my words out, i go all red and hot and feel so stupid, like everyones looking at me, thinking bad about me, i hate it. Sometimes people say to me why do you never talk?and why you so shy?its weird. it makes me so sad, and when i get home i just cry in my room.
ive had a few boyfriends, and they all dump me because im shy, they say i am attractive just have a rubbish personality, which hurts so bad, i cant talk to boys, especially boys i like, i hate it soo much, i hate myself i wish i could be diffrent:(


Answers


bella
781 days ago
Hi - I know exactly how you feel because I used to be very shy as a child and in high school. I wasn't able to speak in front of the class either and I understand its very hard. Used to blush too and that made it worse. The good news is, you can learn to get better. Eventually I became a model so that should inspire you. I think schools should help students who are struggling with shyness.

The best thing is to get some professional help. I wish I had the opportunity, becasue it would have been a faster process. Try to push yourself a little at a time out of your comfort zone and avoid hiding yourself. When people are shy, we tend to be very hard on ourselves and overthink things. I'm sorry people have criticized your personality and we don't choose to be this way. With help we can be better - not totally extroverted but functional. Reach out for help and let the real you blossum - good luck.



Cody
778 days ago
I had this problem in high school as well. When a teacher asks you a question, all the eyes turn on you and you feel overwhelmed. You are not comfortable being yourself in certain situations. I was the same way, and still kind of am in some situations. I am 22 now.

You have to practice being comfortable talking and being yourself basically. Think of it as you are just expressing yourself to make yourself happy. Maybe you feel you have to be something that you are not and you don't want to even try because you feel as if you can't live up to your expectations. People don't expect you to be anything but yourself. You probably have irrelevant thoughts. It may take some time but be honest with yourself and be brave. Be the kind person that you are and just learn to be honest with yourself. A lot of people have shyness. A lot of people older than you have shyness. There is nothing wrong with expressing yourself honestly. What makes you happy? Instead of feeling like you have to impress people in which you are afraid at the same time. Just do this.... next time you are in a social situation in which you feel you can't handle just think to yourself I am going to express myself honestly and be brave for myself. You will begin to feel better once you can be comfortable just being yourself and expressing yourself honestly. A lot of kids your age go through this. People will respect you if you can be just happy with who you are. You are probably trying to be what you think others want you to be. This doesn't make you happy having this type of thinking and fear does it? Don't worry, lots of people think this way.... trust me... I did. It doesn't have to be hard. It doesn't have to be this way... in fact... it should not be this way. Think in positive terms, think in ways to surpass this by making yourself a happy person knowing that you are kind and that you can just be brave and count on yourself by simply expressing yourself honestly. Don't think of it as a hard thing to accomplish though, you have to be at ease being comfortable and being happy with yourself. Just be happy with who you are. You don't have to talk if you don't want to, but it helps to love who you are and don't forget that you know who you are. No one else truly knows you other than really close people. I'm just saying that I believe happiness and just being naturally who you truly are without making a big deal out of this is going to solve this issue for you.

I wish you luck, you will conquer this trust me. You can do this. Its no big deal.

God Bless.



CHQuest
778 days ago
All my life, through high school and even into my early 30's I was painfully shy. The two things that helped me to overcome my shyness was:

1. Working as a bartender in a bar that was known to be a little rough.

and

2. Finding a cause and becoming a voice for the "victims" of that cause.

I worked as a bartender to escape a bad marriage - my husband cheated on me and brought home genital herpes. Herpes and other common but permanent STD's became my cause. It was almost a whirlwind how I went from

being a pissed off wife

to

An emailing pain in the ass to my entire general assembly asking WHY STD screens are NOT complete and why the laws prevent doctors from telling people

to

Spokesperson for a major pharmaceutical company and their drug

to

STD Patient Advocate

The really crazy thing is, if you get me talking about herpes, I won't shut up - but a stranger can ask me about the weather and I freeze.

Bartending was easy - when people are drinking, they won't let you be shy :)

There are some great books on the subject too - I have read a couple, but real life action is what helped me most.



chocapricot
775 days ago
I was exactly the same throughout high school. I hated how shy I was, all the time, and it would get in the way of making new friends, etc. I found that being put out of my social comfort zone (I was sent to boarding school) really helped. It was really uncomfortable at the time of course, but it really helped me to become less socially shy. At first I was helped by a friend who was socially outgoing, and with her help it helped me to become more confident around people.



heathert
774 days ago
I get how you feel don't be sad who cares what your past boyfriends think,you probably will find someone who deals with anxiety the way you do.When you're in a store maybe make a list of what to do in those situations like try talking to your friend in public place and start slowly talking to your teacher outloud even if its a short conversation and you're embarressed you'll eventually feel a bit better if you practice.Screw what other people say i bet you're awesome. (: