Avatar Posted by denila 68 days ago (Question)
My grandson is 23 and has always been a good student in his early years even if he was bullied for a long time. He has gradually withdrawn from society in that he stays in his dark basement and plays video games almost all day. He is still in college but does not attend most of his classes. He is well behaved and when you mention that something is wrong with his life, he agrees. He wants to change things and says he is not normal but does not seem able to make the efforts.He absolutey has no self-esteem and when he tried to find a job, he was always refused so he does not work. He has seen a Psychiatrist who has given pills so he can sleep and when he had a problem, has tried to communicate with the doctor but he is never avaiable. I believe he should change doctor. Also he is seeing a councellor at College, he seems to like her but this does not provide any visible results.
I am writing because my grandson is so miserable that he wants to take his own life, he has mentioned this a couple of times and I am worried. Also his parents (my daughter) have tried very hard to help him but they are now at the point where they want to chase him from home because they say he does not help himself. I believe he cannot help himself at the point is now without outside help. My dauther is now in depression and her husband is an alcoolic who could be violent sometimes so you see the image.
I would so much like to help my beloved grandson but don't know where to start. He has been diagnosed with extreme anxiety by this psychiatrist that he can never contact but I think he should been seen in a clinic to have a good follow-up every week or so as by himself, he cannot do it. We live in the west-end of Montreal and would like to know where to address myself to get help and follow-up on a situation that has been lasting almost 10 years and is getting worse every year. Help please, I don't know what to do and my grandson is gradually losing his life.


Answers

Written by Chemar 68 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I am so sorry you are having to see this happening to your beloved grandson, but thankful that you are trying to find help for him

I do hope you will urge him to go to a different doctor! A doctor who is always "unavailable" is not what he needs!

Is he still taking his medication? If it isnt helping him it may not be the right prescription, and may in fact be contributing to his symptoms, especially if he has a different diagnosis than that for which the doctor is treating him

If you are close to him (and it sounds like you are) perhaps you could volunteer to accompany him to either a clinic or another physician. He may feel that having that support will make it easier for him to go. I think you are probably correct that he is in a state where he cannot help himself,and from what you describe, his mom isnt in the best frame of mind to help him either

Is your daughter's husband his father? I do hope they dont force him from the home, but is there any chance he could stay with you until he gets a more stable footing in his life?

I do hope he will agree to get a second opinion from another doctor. This must be so very hard for you. Hopefully you will be able to help him get his life back on track.

Written by denila 68 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Thank you for your wonderful comments. Just knowing someone cares about me is wonderful.

And yes, my daughter's husband is the boy's father. Sometimes I think that he started the drinking problem and she went into depression after their only son failed what they were expecting of him. I will try and talk to him about the clinic but my daughter is also open to a change of Doctor. If nothing works, I will surely take him into my home but I am 76 years old and sometimes I have a hard time taking care of myself. Thank you again.

Written by sempervirent 67 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Vitamin D deficiency/insufficiency is strongly correlated with depression. Since you live in Montreal, which is far to the north and doesn't have the best weather, you might want to consider vitamin D supplementation in addition to empathic social support. Vitamin D is well-tolerated. Canada's health authorities recently raised their Recommended Daily Value to 1,000 IU per day, up from 400 IU (which is what's currently recommended in the US). The problem with 400 IU is that it was arbitrarily set over 50 years ago and does not take recent research into consideration. To treat depression, intake of 5,000-10,000 IU per day might be necessary (as it was in my own case). The safety of this dosage is supported by medical research; a review of existing studies (http://www.lmreview.com/articles/VitaminD-VitaminK_part1.html#Ref92) states that:

"Evidence from clinical trials shows, with a wide margin of confidence, that a prolonged intake of 10,000 IU per day of vitamin D3 poses no risk of adverse effects for adults, even if this is added to a rather high physiologic background level [sun exposure, dietary intake] of vitamin D."

Vitamin D's role in depression is complex. Two important factors are thyroid control and dopamine metabolism. The thyroid regulates calcium in your body; if it's not working right, it can lead to depression, because calcium has an excitatory effect on nerve cells. Dysregulation of dopamine can create an emotional state where nothing seems exciting or rewarding. The science behind all this is explained in more detail on the Vitamin D Council website:

http://www.vitamindcouncil.org/depression.shtml

http://www.vitamindcouncil.org/science/research/vitamin-d-and-depression-and-seasonal-affective-disorder.shtml

There's a ton of information about vitamin D and depression online. Here are some article that turned up with a quick Google search:

Here's an article from Mercy Hospital in Pittsburgh:

http://www.mercybehavioral.org/poc/view_doc.php?type=news&id=120687

Article about sunlight and suicide (Montreal, again):

http://www.psychologytoday.com/print/24687

Please, please, please keep in mind that depression often has an organic cause. It's not a simple matter of thoughts and beliefs. It's good that your grandson is seeing a therapist but therapy alone cannot fully address an underlying biochemical problem. There needs to be a two-part approach to helping your grandson out of the darkness; that approach balances biology with psychology. And "biology" doesn't necessarily mean expensive and sometimes dangerous prescription drugs – just educating yourself about basic vitamins and nutrients by reading reliable sources.

Written by denila 67 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

My grandson is seeing his family doctor tomorrow for tyroid control results. I will tell him to ask the doctor about the vitamin D test. Thank you.

Written by sempervirent 67 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Sounds like a good start. I'm glad your grandson is interested in potential biological sources for his depression,and he's willing to get some blood work done to check for potential issues. Depression can come from external sources and cause biological problems, and biological imbalances can also cause depression.

I had a low TSH (thyroid-stimulating hormone) level when my thyroid was checked, indicating possible hyperparathyroidism. I did not have the actual PTH (parathyroid hormone) test done, but low TSH generally means high PTH and vice versa. Basically the thyroid gland was working overtime to regulate calcium in the absence of vitamin D. A low level of thyroid-stimulating hormone means that the thyroid was working hard and did not need the additional stimulation. A further vitamin D test revealed a deficiency (deficiency is defined as less than 32 ng/mL). These things very often occur together and indicate that vitamin D supplementation is needed.

My TSH level rose to normal levels after a couple of months of supplementation and I felt much better.

An article on vitamin D, depression, and thyroid tests:

http://www.endocrinetoday.com/print.aspx?rid=28407

Interpreting thyroid test results:

http://www.labtestsonline.org/understanding/analytes/tsh/test.html

http://thyroid.about.com/od/thyroidbasicsthyroid101/a/confusion.htm

I think you're on the right path. Please keep me updated.

Written by duck 65 days ago - Show / Hide this answer Rating: -1 | Rate Answer: + -

Written by Clyde 49 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I am sorry to hear about what is going on, but I am very glad to hear he has you for a Grandma.

Are there things that you could help him do to get him feeling better?

What does he do for fun? Does he have hobbies anymore?

I agree with the other posters, you may need to help find him a new doctor.

Best,

Clyde


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