I was very excitable and probably stupidly told my doctor that an on-line test told me I was likely severely bipolar (my score was higher than the numbers indicating server bipolar). I thought this was funny, but I think there might be a little truth in it. But, I don't think it's effecting my life half as much as it is to other poor people where it is ruining there lives.
I'm not sure of other mood disorders or if I even have one. As a child I did always have mood swings and this could be worse because I'm a teenager, I'm really not sure and I wish I could control them.
When high I stay up late, go to bed around 1/2am and wake up at 5am energized. I talk more, louder and faster, my thoughts race and I forget to let other people talk. I get very annoying but people always do what I say because I'm so confident and they don't want to anger me. I usually am very happy, even when I realize I lost because I was originally 10 minutes away from home but it takes me 4 and a half hours to get home.
I can sometimes get very irritated halfway through someones joke, and they don't understand why, neither do I.
When I'm down I think about death a lot and cry at least 2 times a day. I don't sleep anymore but I stay in bed for hours and feel tired all the time. I don't like talking to people because it feels like a chore, but I can't stay alone because I'm cared I'll start self harming (I haven't for a year!) so i like to sit with one person and hear them talk. I feel like my death is very near and can never decide whether I was supposed to make my death come or wait for it. When I've very high i forget his but right now I'm only happy (although for no reason) but I can remember both stages better than normal so it's easier to talk about it.
Although these mood mean that older men seem to try to take advantage of me when I'm high, and I'm more likely to self harm, when I'm down, and I think about suicide whether I'm happy or not and I have the perfect suicide ready in case I need to commit it, I don't actually see it effecting my daily life very much.
Maybe my friends notice it, but thats about it really.
Should I bother go to the doctor or would I be wasting my time?
I'm not sure of other mood disorders or if I even have one. As a child I did always have mood swings and this could be worse because I'm a teenager, I'm really not sure and I wish I could control them.
When high I stay up late, go to bed around 1/2am and wake up at 5am energized. I talk more, louder and faster, my thoughts race and I forget to let other people talk. I get very annoying but people always do what I say because I'm so confident and they don't want to anger me. I usually am very happy, even when I realize I lost because I was originally 10 minutes away from home but it takes me 4 and a half hours to get home.
I can sometimes get very irritated halfway through someones joke, and they don't understand why, neither do I.
When I'm down I think about death a lot and cry at least 2 times a day. I don't sleep anymore but I stay in bed for hours and feel tired all the time. I don't like talking to people because it feels like a chore, but I can't stay alone because I'm cared I'll start self harming (I haven't for a year!) so i like to sit with one person and hear them talk. I feel like my death is very near and can never decide whether I was supposed to make my death come or wait for it. When I've very high i forget his but right now I'm only happy (although for no reason) but I can remember both stages better than normal so it's easier to talk about it.
Although these mood mean that older men seem to try to take advantage of me when I'm high, and I'm more likely to self harm, when I'm down, and I think about suicide whether I'm happy or not and I have the perfect suicide ready in case I need to commit it, I don't actually see it effecting my daily life very much.
Maybe my friends notice it, but thats about it really.
Should I bother go to the doctor or would I be wasting my time?
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Answers
yes, this does sound like a bipolar disorder and meds can make a huge differance! good luck
Hi there!
I would go to the doctor too. I would bring the tests to him, even though they are not considered the same as a "real-life" medical or psychological test, he could gain some ideas out of it.
I really think it would not be wasting your time at all.
Best,
Clyde
Yes, I would definitely reccommend you go to the doctor! This really sounds like bipolar to me. Now would be an ideal time to see your doctor, when you can, as you say, recall both mood states clearly, as you did on this site. While you may say that it doesn't seem to be affecting your daily life much, and you do have a good awareness of your different mood states and some strategies for dealing with them, there are several things that concern me. One thing is that these mood swings can be become more intense and less predictable if you don't get treatment. You may naturally enjoy the "high," but highs can get "higher" (more out-of-control)and lead to impaired judgement and risky behavior that could be just as dangerous as your lows. You've also clearly described periods of severe depression, which include serious thoughts of thoughts of self-harm and suicide. Please take the opportunity to talk to your doc now while you're thinking clearly and in between the "poles." I hope you'll do this. In the long run, I think you'll find that life can be a lot more productive and fulfilling for you than it has been.
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