Hi, im camryn (female) and im 15.. im posting because i want to know whats up
3 years ago i cut up my arm real bad because i felt like it. I had no reason and no excuse. My mom and dad found out and talked it through. made me promise to tell them next time.
through those 3 years i relized nothing got better but only worse. I constantly feel liek a weight is in my heart and a knife is in my back. The feeling of dying is always there
my friend(s) came to me. Told me i need to 'get over myself'...
2 nights ago i cut myself again witth scissors. it hurt but almsot felt good. and i even took it to school and did it. Yesterday i had a "scream/ugly" cry moment.. i grabbed pills (thinking to chug them but i didnt) and i grabbed a razor and cut from my hips up.
I've been a mess and my boyfriend noticing and is worried.
Basically what im trying to say is ive researched this all and i have every symptom for BPD except reckless (spending sex drugs).. i do my best to stop people from leaving me
Im tired all the time and i want to be alone forever but i never want to be left alone.. constant fear of everything in my mind im afraid of myself.. i need to touch people when i talk and when i dont.. i dont eat anymore. no lunch no breakfest and i few bites of dinner.. im scared.
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