I'm new to this place and I'm so confused so please bear with me...
In 2007 I was diagnosed with BPD after taking an overdose and staying in a mental hospital for a few weeks. I agreed with the diagnosis and still do to an extent. In 2008 I had group therapy and tackled a lot of my childhood and past issues but after the therapy finished, due to a lack of support from professionals, I regressed significantly. I felt depressed for about a month and was referred for support. The doctor said I had agitated depression and gave me lamotrigine. I stopped sleeping and felt extremely agitated all the time. I found it difficult to be around my then 4 y/o son and after 6 days of no sleep I took my boy to nursery and then I ran away. I was all over the place, drinking and hyperactive. My friend bought me back (I'd gone quite far away) and in the short I was sectioned. The diagnosis of Bipolar disorder was mentioned to me a few times but nothing ever came of it.
In 2009 i had my second child and things got so much better, i even got a new job which ive been at for over a year. But In october i started to feel depressed again so i took a few weeks off work. I also started one on one therapy last July. Anyway i went back to work in November but by December i felt even more depressed and my therapist said i was going through a 'crisis' and reffered me for extra support.
So about 2 weeks ago one Friday night i didnt sleep and from there i was on a high everyday, agitated but very energetic, blasting out my music and having sex with male and females, spending money and smoking weed. One day i danced till my body itched and freaked out so much i scratched my body till i bled. My therapist has been calling me everyday and says im having a 'manic breakdown' and a few ppl have said i keep talking too fast and seem very agitated. Ive been cleaning at all hours of the night and didnt wanna take meds cos i was enjoying it too much.
The weed really calms me down but i started the meds as the high seems to be wearing off and the agitation feels horrible...
Anyway i now feel like im 'crashing' cos i feel so depressed and cant seem to move out of my chair or peave my house. I know diagnosis arent as important as getting the right treatment but i cant help but wanna know if this is bipolar disorder or not. I feel like i would be more prepared if this happens again seeing as its happened twice now...sorry for the long post!
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