Avatar Posted by kimbhump 61 days ago (Question)
Ok, I need some insight. I asked my brother to move in with me 2 hours from his home because he lost everything including a place to live. When he moved in he helped himself to everything like it belonged to him and it is upsetting my fiancee/sons' father. It is also beginning to drain us financially and I'm afraid I will have to ask my brother to leave. How can I do it? I mean he is bi-polar/manic depressive and I'm afraid something bad will happen specially since he has no place to go. But I can't afford to take care of him. I pay everything for him and I shouldn't he has been with us for 3 weeks and has not found work. My fiancee is upset because my brother is breaking (accidently) everything and using up all his things. I need some kind of suggestions on how to handle...please someone help!


Answers

Written by Thumbelina 61 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

You didn't give any details on why your brother was in the situation of being homeless and jobless. Had he been working? I cannot comment on the rationale behind the decision to ask him to move in. However, it appears he's a terrible house guest. Did you place a time limit on his stay? Were there any guidelines discussed at all when he moved in? It's hard to ask someone to move out when their situation has not improved since they moved in. What it really comes down to is if he is causing enough trouble so that you feel you simply must ask him to leave. No one can answer that for you. You must decide that for yourself.

Written by twentytroubles 61 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Is there other family that could help? Or some sort of social home with unemployment benefits?

Written by jenmog 51 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Bipolar is a real illness. The depression part of the illness actually affects a persons ability to move properly, to think clearly and little things like showering are a monumental effort because your brain does not have the chemicals needed to get you from A to B. This can come across as "being lazy" to a person who is ignorant about the illness.

The manic part of the illness will make him a clumsy, loudmouthed pain in the arse ;p.

I am telling you this because there is no point just letting him stay with you without getting him treatment. He will not magically get better just because he knows that he is upsetting you. This is not something that will "clear up" over time if you ignore it. Quite often, people in the middle of an episode will be unable to do anything for themselves, so you will basically have to baby him.

If you can't cope with it, then there should be a residential facility in your area.

Make no mistake, bipolar is serious, he didn't ask for it and he's not trying to be a pain. It usually hits people in their early twenties, sometimes earlier.

What he needs now is support and a long term plan. Take him to a specialist - not a GP, a specialist, and get him on the right medication. A lot of meds have horrible side effects, so he might be hesitant to try new meds or continue with previous medication.

Help him get a benefit or social security, make sure he takes his meds every day, doesn't drink alcohol and he sees his specialist once a week. Once his symptoms have calmed down, he should be able to look at moving back out on his own. He will need to have safeguards in place for his medication and money.

This site is brilliant, hopefully you'll get something useful from it, once you've navigated through teh spam!

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/aboutbipolar.php

Written by Clyde 47 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I think you are down to two choices--either kick him out and wish the best for him or try to find a residential/group/mental health facility he can get help at or stay at.

Best,

Clyde


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