MY wife and I have been married for 16 years, and we have 4 children. She was diagnosed with Bipolar 5 years ago after she was caught having affair (this was not the first time) My wife had a very troubling upbringing, her father was never there, and her mom kind of abandoned her. At the age of 14 she was in a relationship with a man who was 28 years old, he played the father figure in her life as well as her lover for the next three years, when he abruptly left. She has been dealing with these abandonment issues for the last 16 years, she recently sort him out and found. They slept together again, but she told me it was only one time. She is having a hard time letting go of him, even though it hurting me as well as our children. She states he was the only person she was emotionally attached. (she states this is was one of the causes for the affairs, because she has been searching for those feelings) She states that she loves me and wants to be with me, and wants to keep our family intact, but she needs time to sort out these feelings. She has returned to therapy and is trying to get closure. I'm having a hard time seeing a light at the end of this tunnel. I'm not sure if I have the patience to see this out, because I'm not sure what she really wants? She has told me the only reason she's still in this marriage is because of the children? but then she tells me she loves me, but just not very compassionate. I'm confused to what I should do, besides this situation we have been managing the ups and downs of our disorder as best as possible.