My sister has suffered from bipolar disorder for 12 years as well as my entire family because of her illness. We are mentally and physically drained. We have given money, support, dropped our lives and what we have going on to try and help her, taken off work and traveled 4 hours when she claims she is going to kill herself (but never does it unless someone is right there to "save" her)gotten her out of jail, etc. We have gave until we don't have anything else in us. She doesn't have many manic episodes and when she does she spends all of her money and money that is given to her to help her live on things that doesn't matter. If she isn't the center of attention all the time she does whatever it takes to make sure she is.(i.e., physically hurting herself but not too bad so that it might really cause her pain..just enough for show)She has purposely wrecked her car at least 6 times so she can go to the hospital to get medication and fortunately hasn't hurt anyone else in the process. She has medication for her bipolar but I don't think she takes it like she should if she does at all. She abuses prescription drugs, doctor hops and drinks if she has nothing else to get her high. She can't keep a relationship because she drains everyone she is with. She has anger issues and is violent at times. she see what she puts us through but is so selfish she doesn't care. She will call and the first two minutes ask you how you are doing and then the entire conversaton is about hr and her issues. It is a cycle that the entire family can predict. She doesn't get what she wants and everything isn't about her she hurts herself, goes to doc to get medication,stays drugged up and doesn't go to work, gets kicked out of her home for not paying rent and calls and begs family for help. She only prays and ask for God to help her when she is in trouble. She rededicated her life to Christ at least every six months to get sympathy from church members but dosn't go to church but just for the day to do that. My family cannot take this anymore. We want her committed to a mental facility but we are told it has to be ordered by her physcologist to get her in the Florida State Mental Hospital. All he wants to do is give her medicaion and put her in and out of a behavorial center which only keeps her for 72 hours. Is this normal for people with bipolar or could she have multiple prolems? Can anyone suggest any books I can read? She has been at what my family thought would be rock bottom for any human being. She lost her children, has been in jail, been homeless and had to stay in a hotel until her money ran out. She would say she was better and we thought she was until something goes wrong in her life and she is back to her old self. she blames everything on someone else. She never takes responsibility for anything that happens. It is never her fault. We are all cried out and completely drained. I am at the point that when I hear about things she has done I feel nothing but disgust for her selfishness. I understand her medical condition is something she did not ask for but there are plenty of people out there that have this and live normal lives withut so much drama. It is one thing to have an illness it is another to use it as a crutch to feel like the world owes you and use everyone you come in contact with.I really need some guideance here for me and my family. My sister is 42 years old and my mother can't keep going through this. I am scared that the person that is goign to end up dead when all is said and done will be my poor mother from the stress she has suffered at the hands of my sister. I hope I don't sound cold hearted bcause I love my sister with all of my heart but I have nothing left inside me to give and that breaks my heart.
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Answers
My dear, I dont think you sound cold-hearted at all. To me, the things I would think of would be bipolar (as you mentioned) and/or borderline.
I cannot think of things off the top of my head as far as books, but try the http://www.bipolarlikeme.com website, which has some links, or even psych central (http://www.psychcentral.com) .
I would try to get her to a therapist as soon as you could, or at least have the minister from the church speak to her (but of course, you put them "in" about the information that they do not know)...
Hope this helps.
Best,
Clyde
Thanks for the advice. It comes at a time I needed to hear it because today she has put us on yet another roller coaster ride. I just keep thinking of the saying "if you keep doing the same thing you will get the same results." It is so true because we keep giving and helping because she is our sibling but then she ends up the same place as before. Hearing her say "it will be different this time" is like hearing me say "hello" when the phone rings. Thank you for taking the time to respond. I surely did not want to burden anyone else with our family problem but I just didn't know who to ask or where to turn. Your kindness is greatly appreciated. God Bless you.
Though it may seem like she is being selfish, her cries for attention are because she is hurting so badly inside. She needs therapy, but also needs your family to stop enabling her. When the family gives her money and support, she is only going to hurt herself more and beg for more. Try contacting an interventionist. Let her know that you care deeply for her, the whole family needs to let her know this, but that you are killing her by trying to keep her happy. Tell her she needs help.
God Bless you too. I hope things do get to work for you all.
Best,
Clyde