Avatar Posted by SuperInferior 109 days ago (Question)
I think I have most of the symptoms of very mild bipolar. However, my high moods feel normal, like thats me. I want to be like that.
My doctor has seen me crying my eyes out talking about self harm I've done and how I have thought of ways to kill myself effectively and I cant feel good anymore even if I think really positively because it has no effect...
and hes seen me agitated in my seat getting distracted by little things around the room, talking very quickly, changing the subject, smiling loads and having lots of ideas and very, very high self esteem. (As in, I coul finish my Uni course in 1 year rather than 3 - which I don't completely think is crazy, but meh)

Now, he keeps telling me to consider mood stablisers rather than antidepressants, but I dont understand why.
My down moods are much worse.
Normal for me is not being able to sit still for very long, (I elbowed my bf when he was trying to be romantic, in the face cus I couldnt keep still lol), talking lots and quickly, moving about, hugging people spontaneously, talking to strangers. I have seen other teenagers act this way and I don't think it's that weird. I'm 18 btw.
I mean, sometimes I think I might have ADHD and people do ask a lot, and they ask if im on drugs, but thats silly, like when someone says theyre depressed because its raining. Its misusage of the word, don't you agree?

I mean, if my normal mood if quiet happy, then my low moods arent as bad as some peoples also.
For example, they didnt see the depression when I knew it was there and i told them it would get worse, i could feel myself going down hill, but they were like, 'ah your ok, your just stressed' but everytime Im always right.

If you think of that, my normal line is a few c above everyone elses. So what they might call 'hypomanic' is just a 'pretty good mood' for me.

Does anyone think this is reasonable and that my decision to avoid mood stablisers at all costs is valid?
I mean I read that thinking an elated mood is normal is part of the disorder, but, does it really seem that bad if no one is hurt. All that happens is pedos (yes I look underage still...) and flirts like me more, and im very friendly with them, even if I call them nasty names they still find me funny becuase Im so happy... that bothers my mother, but besides that its all good...


Answers

Written by Edahn 109 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I get what you're saying, but when you say "no one is hurt" I think you're forgetting that the elated mood is coming with a cost -- extreme depression.

I think your concerns are a good thing to talk to your doctor about. Another thing you can consider is whether you can find ways to be yourself even when you're not elated. I think it is very very possible. I get that when you're elated, you feel fearless and that gives you "space" to be yourself. But I also think that you can find that fearlessness in other, natural ways by stripping away your layers of fear one at a time, mainly by Listening to yourself. That's all it takes.

~E.

Written by Clyde 109 days ago Rating: 1 | Rate Answer: + -

Print this out and who it to your doctor.

But either way, the moods or the depression needs to be treated.

Best,

Clyde

Written by SuperInferior 107 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Thanks guys. Sometimes I just need reassurance that something is worth talking to the professionals about. =]

Written by Clyde 92 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Well of course, things are worth discussing when they apply to you. It does sound like you have some self-esteem issues too.

If you car was messed up, you would want to take it to the mechanic to get it fixed, right?

Best,

Clyde


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