Avatar Posted by yoshigirl 214 days ago (Question)
we have been together eight years, just because of my efforts really, he rarely seemed to give a damn. When we met I was lost, and out of nowhere I loved him beyond reason...I am crazy about him. He chooses other people over me but I love him still. I tried to push him away for self preservation some months ago, and he found somebody else, but still kept coming back until I fell for him again, just as hard as ever before...and now he doesn't want to let them go, or me. He's destroying me, I am destroying myself. I am bulimic (justbecause I know it's bad for my body) and when I look in the mirror I hate the woman I see. I am in serious danger...I am bi-polar with borderline personality disorder and dissossiative tendencies. I almost killed myself over him in the past (we're talking coma people, thirty percent liver capacity...) and I know I am at the brink. Please don't say anything too obvious though, I know that no man is worth all this...logic plays no part in who I am...


Answers

Written by Francesca 214 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

What exactly is it that you are looking for?

Written by Edahn 214 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

.

Written by yupyup 214 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

mayb u should seek help hun!

Written by bellacutie 214 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi,

since you mentioned that logic plays no part in your life, then I'm not going to go through all the logical reasons you need to leave him. I know common sense won't make any sense to you. It sounds like you're addicted to him - why else would you tolerate his behavior.

When we decide to partner up with someone it's very important to make sure that we are complete in ourselves - as opposed to looking to complete ourselves through someone else. You admit you were lost and you felt like he made you feel complete. You so desperately think that he completes you, that you stay with him even though you know he bad for your health.

You seriously need to get help and get away from him - even though it will be painful for you. He is only reiforcing the hate you feel for yourself. I'm glad that you realize that he's not worth killing yourself over. Find a friend or family member to stay with and leave him as quickly as you can. He does this to you because he knows you'll tolerate it. You are a human being who deserves to be treated respectfully.

Please get help and learn to love yourself. You're teaching him to treat you with hate because you hate yourself. Best of luck.

Written by Edahn 214 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I think of this as addiction. You're addicted to drama and to pain, mostly emotional.

There is DEFINITELY a way to improve this and it's not impossible. It requires you to PAUSE, to step back, and to take things slowly, ensuring that each decision is the best you can make for yourself while keeping tabs on your addiction. The Buddhists call this idea karma, and it's definitely something worth reading up on. (Jack Kornfield has written some amazing stuff on it.) But in order to do all this, you have to be willing to give up on these addictions, and that takes discipline, maturity, and self-kindness. All that stuff is inside you already, not something you have to look elsewhere to find, but you have to be dedicated and serious.

Here's a book that covers karma and other great, great topics that will help you: http://www.amazon.com/Seeking-Heart-Wisdom-Meditation-Shambhala/dp/157062805X

Here's a short chapter on karma, which doesn't have to do with punishment and reward, but the science of happiness: http://www.shambhala.com/html/learn/features/buddhism/basics/karma.cfm

Happy Reflections,

Edahn

Written by Clyde 211 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

For sure, you are addicted to him.

You have to break the cycle. Why stay with anyone to go through all this pain?

Best,

Clyde


Log in to answer or register here.