I can't stop exposing myself or looking at porn. I have been doing this since age 7, now I am 39. I always make the exposing look accidental, by just wearing loose basketball shorts, and boxers. I always position myself in a way to give a girl a clear shot of my penis, and just wait for their reaction. Sometimes they will look for a long time, sometimes they will tell me, and two times they have shown themselves back to me. I was arrested 2 different times for this in my past. 10 years ago and 5 years ago. My arrests made the local news, I went to jail. I lost my jobs both times, and my marraige, and an engagement. Luckily, I never had to register as a sex offender, thank God! I have always been very successful in the job world, and I am also the most outgoing, friendliest, caring person you can ever meet. I have a giant circle of friends and a very active social life. These people except for a very limited few, know about my past. Problem is it's very much my present too. I can't stop exposing myself daily and looking at porn when I am home. It is destroying my life everyday. I quit my job cause I couldn't concentrate anymore on it. I am trying to start up my own business now, but spend countless, useless hours everyday involved in my sexual behaviors. I have literally lost two homes, over half a million dollars and a great reputation I once had in my home town. I have moved 1100 miles away and have been sucessfully able to keep that part of my life away for the last 4 years, and have made some great new friends. I want to be in a normal healthy relationship, but I purposely keep girls away so they don't find out about me. The only girls I have sex with are prostitutes. I so want to find a nice girl to settle down with and live a normal healthy life together one day. I am literally out of money, I suffer from severe depression, and lie in bed wanting to kill myself everyday. I just want to be normal. I know how to live a normal life, but I feel like there is another person inside of me that is controlling me and wants me dead. I don't know who to turn to. I have no money anymore. All I know is this is a serious disorder that I have been battling almost all my life. I need a second chance to start over and to live for tomorrow. Please any advice will be appreciated!!


Answers


bella
582 days ago
Hi - sorry your life is out of control. As with any addiction, sometimes a person has to hit rock bottom before they're ready to get help. There's a lot of gratification in this addiction, so its hard to stop but as you can see this is self destructive. Call your primary doctor and get a referral for this addiction ASAP. You've been fighting this problem and hiding but now its time to find a solution. Don't give into the suicidal feelings and get the right help.



Thisisit
576 days ago
Get help. It will hopefully turn your life around. With all your other positive qualities, maybe it won't be as difficult to get back on the proper track. But what do I know - I'm not a psych. Get help!



Maia
573 days ago
Honey, this is not your fault, you have a disorder. You do need to get help, I'm sure that there are plenty of support groups to join and a psychiatrist could be of greater help. Don't be embarrassed to tell the psychiatrist about your problems, they know the right answers. Don't give up, and keep waiting for the right girl. She's out there, and you can find her someday. There is a girl who will understand and accept you somewhere, you already have people on here that understand and don't judge you. Good luck, I wish you the very best.



anamtanvir
572 days ago
hi.its really painful to know..all u can do is to trick ur mind.......when ur sexual desires come,dnt fight wd them.....let them float away...dnt b guilty to thnk abt sex....try to make moral standards and religious treatment is best....try to thnk of a woman w.r.t her beautiful nature and love da nature,nt da outer rim.focus on inner relationing....wd women.....nd believe dat u will b loved for da sake of da gudness in ur heart by sum1 special..........nt by size of p**n*s so w8 4 da prfct 1 nd save all love,emotions etc 4 her....