Avatar Posted by babigurrl111 120 days ago (Question)
I am 14 years old and i have been dinosed with bipolar disorder since i was the age of 2. I lost my father at age 7 and it stared showing a little more. But as I have gotten even older it has gotten even worse, April of 08 i got put in a mental institution for trying to commit suiside. They had put me on some pills, but i stopped taking them because they made it were i didn't want to do anything but sleep. I haven't been on any pills since then, but it is gettin harder to control.
My mother is also bipolar and we have times were we will connect, but there are other times were we litterly want to kill each other. Is also being Homisidal a side-a-fect of being bipolar? Because I sometime think and talk in a Homisidal state alot.
This past year has been the worst it has been yet. I've had so many episodes of deppression, I'm always down. I never want to interact with other people, I just basicaly isolate myself. I have alot of stress built up which, tends to make me go off on people alot easier at times than others. I am getting to the point were I can't even be around some of my best freinds because I get Frustuated with them so fast. I don't want to be like this, were I can't control my moods and my behavior, but I don't want to be on pills that take away my personality which makes me who I am... What do I now that I am at this point?


Answers

Written by bellacutie 120 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad right now! I know it's tough being put in a mental institution and the meds they put you on, were probably much different/stronger that what they would give you as a daily maintanence to keep you well. The mental hospital put you on meds to stop you from killing yourself not for bipolar disorder. I think you need to go to your doctor and try medication that's for bipolar. I understand how you don't want to feel so drugged that your personality is numb - that's why you need to be closely monitered by a doctor.

You also need to make sure you're eating well,

exercising and relaxing. When you feel stressed try taking some slow deep breathes(from your stomach) to calm your thoughts. Try to remember that you don't always need react to people - instead try to think first - "should you do or say this". My brother had manic depression so I know how hard it can be.

Please don't give up on medication because it takes time for doctor to find the right med and right level for each patient. Always remember suicide is never a solution to your feelings or problems. Be patient with yourself. Hugs, Bella.

Written by Francesca 120 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I think you should try incorporating a strict and balanced routine in your life. If your mind or emotions are so scattered on the inside, that you are having a hard time controlling your reactions, you need a stable environment.

Make sure your routine incorporates down time, exercise, work or school, free time, whatever. Incorporate healthy activities that can account for the moods you feel most often.

Anger and frustration = Exercise

Sad and down = A little quiet time to your self

Happy = Time with friends or hanging out

Serious = School

So your routine may be: School, a little down time, then light exercise, and after some time with friends.

The goal would be learning to control your reactions enough to sit on them for a moment, then vent them in the appropriate places.

For example, say your routine incorporates a work out at 5 o'clock. It is now 2:30 and you are irritated, stressed and about to be "set off." Stop and think, I will put this aside, and use this energy for my work out a little later. If you start to get down, push yourself to wait to indulge the feeling, until your scheduled down time.

This would help you to regulate your reactions and gain better control over yourself. These are self discipline methods that allow you to express yourself in a way that is healthy and productive. Once you can easily follow a routine while keeping your reactions in check, you can have the confidence to engage in any situation while maintaining control of your moods.

Written by Clyde 116 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Sorry to hear what has gone on.

Being on medication is not always a personality killer. Like Bella said, they probably had you on stronger meds because you were hospitalized just recently at that time.

You really need to find yourself back on the medications, but of course, in dosages that you dont feel you lose your personality.

Best,

Clyde


Log in to answer or register here.