Would I know if I were bipolar?

Posted by lolabean2 109 days ago (Question)

I have been diagnosed with a panic disorder and clinical depression and was taking klonopin and lexapro. Anxiety and depression and alcoholism run in my family. My dad is a physician and he begged me to stop taking the medication so I did. (He believes psychology is a pseudo-science although I know he struggles with manic depressive episodes and anger).

I started doing a program about three years ago that was for anxiety disorders. It helped a little bit and I understand the skills and what I am supposed to do to be better. Intellectually I comprehend it but emotionally I don't. I know what I'm supposed to do but I feel compulsively driven to do something else. When I was 19 I had my first blown out panic attack, although now I am beginning to wonder if it was a manic episode. I didn't eat or sleep for a week strait and I had strange delusions-that God was talking to me, and Satan and then there was me in the middle. I acted normal to everyone else but inside my head I felt insane. I began to start making life a huge, grandiose ordeal and my life became very important. I decided that the way to "salvation" was to become anorexic and I didn't eat for two weeks after that.

The "panic attack" eventually went away and I became very depressed. I had no morals. I felt guilty about nothing. After that I had another one of these attacks where I decided to become a Buddhist and I wanted to be enlightened. The worst part of everything was coming down from these manic attacks and facing reality.

Since then I have had a few other attacks, and I am beginning to wonder if they are episodes of mania. I have a whim for being impulsive. I quit jobs if I get too anxious, I spend money like crazy, I buy plane tickets, I cheat on boyfriends. But then all of a sudden I am horrifically anxious and depressed and reality sets in and I have difficulty leaving the house. Right now it has become more and more difficult to function and I am pretty much housebound. I have isolated myself from everyone.

Intellectually, I know that my behavior is insane but emotionally, I am having trouble changing. And the worse that these attacks have gotten, the worse the depression, the harder it is for me to pull things together. I am really beginning to wonder if I am not just anxious, that maybe I am insane or bipolar. Would I know if I were? Please help.

1 Answer

Answers

Written by Clyde 109 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I think getting off the meds was NOT a good thing to do. You should of at least discussed it with the therapist, just so they would know and could maybe treat you differently.

You (or anyone) will not always KNOW if you are one or the other, but check out these symptoms and see what you think:

http://psychcentral.com/disorders/bipolar/

Course, if your dad doesnt think you have any kind of that stuff, and you are still a certain age, what can you do?

Could you talk to a counselor or a school counselor and seek some help that way?

Best,

Clyde