I don't know how to talk about this but my 3y.o son has very sexual behaviour. He throws tantrums if I do not allow him to pull my pants down and touch my butt and he is always sticking his hand in my shirt and rubbing my breast. More recently when he sleeps in bed with me If I sleep on my stomach he will try and pull my pajama pants down and take his pullup off and rub himself on me, And his penis actually gets hard. Rememeber he is 3 y.o. He has never seen me engage in sexual activity with my husband.... I am very worried about this. Someone please give me some advice.
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Answers
I agree that does appear to be more "sexual acting out" than what one would expect to see in a 3 year old. I strongly suggest that you find a psychologist who uses play therapy and the like, to help get to the root of the issue for your son.
In the meantime, you must keep a firm boundary on his touching you. Be sure not to yell at him, but lovingly stay firm about what is acceptable behavior, explaining as you do. At this point I would not suggest that you try to talk with him concerning where or why he does this. But I do believe he learned it somewhere, and hopefully "just" from a movie not made for children that he is mimicking.
Model good son-mother touching and loving. Give him more positive attention, more hugs and praising too.
Thank you for your response. I am EXTREMELY worried about this behavior, I have gone into paraonia I think about his daycare and family who is around him. I am trying to find a psychologist to see him , and unbelievably most I contacted today did not accept the military insurance we have. But I will keep searching thanks for your responding.
I agree with Jean...I do feel that it is more a sexual acting out kind of behavior. Kids even at this age do go through sexual touching of their own a little, but this is way beyond that. You do need to find a psychologist who can help your son.
It is also good, as Jean mentioned, to set good boundaries and make sure that he does not even get a chance to cross them. Be stern, but loving.
Best,
Clyde
I honestly can't say where your son is getting his behavior from but it's something that definitely needs to be looked into.
If he's attending daycare or you have a baby sitter you need to keep your eyes open. Try sitting him down and asking him questions ask him did anyone touched him.
You really should try getting to the bottom because that's not normal behavior for a three year anything could be going on.
How scary! I agree with drjean, in that, he learned this behavior somewhere (church member, family member, friend, daycare, neighbor, TV, or etc.)
I think all the money in the world is worth the mental health of my kids. If this was happening to me, I would open a charge card and go in huge debt to pay for top rated and highly experienced child counselors for my son. But hey that's me . . . I was sexually abused as a child and I vow to protect my kids at any cost.
I bet RAINN.org could refer you and your son to a free counseling center (if you are unwilling or unable to go into debt). You need a counselor that knows how to recognize sexual abuse in youngsters. http://www.rainn.org/ Consider calling the RAINN hotline.
At last resort, there's military family health. You might be lucky to find a good family/child therapist for your son. Bring son to his pediatrician and ask for a TRICARE referral to see a child psychologist.
http://www.tricare.mil/mybenefit/ProfileFilter.do?puri=%2Fhome%2FMentalHealthAndBehavior
When I read your question, it reminded me of something I read not too long ago. Maybe it will help. Was he on soy formula? Here is an excerpt and link.
http://www.westonaprice.org/soy/darkside.html
What are the effects of soy products on the hormonal development of boys? Male infants undergo a "testosterone surge" during the first few months of life, when testosterone levels may be as high as those of an adult male. During this period, the infant is programmed to express male characteristics after puberty, not only in the development of his sexual organs and other masculine physical traits, but also in setting patterns in the brain characteristic of male behavior.
This is LEARNED behavior on the part of your child. What is happening at daycare or with a babysitter? What is happening with trusted relatives and friends? This child learned this from someone. Ask him where he learned to play like that. When he tells you BELIEVE HIM.
Hi. I have been trying to research the psychological effects of three year olds who may have been exposed to sexual activity, as my 3 year old is acting out sexually, and even making sound effects and saying things like "ooh, it feels good". Being a survivor or childhood sexual abuse, I have had my full guard up in order to protect my children from the same. I believe that in my case, he has been exposed somehow to pornography of witnessed live sexual activity while at his father's house. Of course this is being denied by him, but our son has never been left with anyone besides the two of us or my mother, and none of my other children are acting out in any way. I came across this, and see that it has been well over three months, but am wondering what ever happened with this child/ mom ?