Why do people hate me so much that they don't even want me to reproduce offspring? My twin sister has 3 kids, & no one tells her anything. I have a 17-yr. old cousin who's pregnant now. Me & my twin sister will be 25 next month. I have my college degree.

The second I mention wanting to have kids, the family explodes on me, saying "You better NOT get pregnant! We don't need anymore crazy people in the world. You'll train your kids to be crazy just like you. It doesn't make sense for you to get pregnant? Why do you wanna get pregnant? For what? So everyone in town can call you a hoe?"

I'm not talking about getting pregnant for just ANYBODY, I want to settle down with a man, get married, & THEN have kids. I'm not promiscuous at all. Besides, I seldom have sex. I've been single for a yr. & a 1/2. No sex.

No one wants me to live life like a normal human being. People always think it's THEIR place to restrict me from doing what makes me happy. People think I'm gonna make the same mistakes my mom made with us having to be put in foster care, but I'll prove them wrong.

& they tell me that if I do get pregnant, they'd make arrangements to have my kid put up for welfare before it's even born. I am willing to take parenting & birthing classes, & everything. Why can everyone else have kids but me?


Answers


Clyde
3253 days ago
Hi there.

Lots of times, family members try to help us out in our lives, but then as time goes on they begin to more "tell us" what to do than they do "advise us" on what to do.

It sounds like you have a good plan, but I definitely at least would wait until I was financially semi-secure at least before I had a child. They cost a heck of a lot, as I am sure you know.

Best,

Clyde



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3251 days ago
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chorn
2926 days ago
It is unbelievable how ugly people can be. I suppose that from some odd standpoint, your family is just afraid and they haven't got the tools to deal with the situation properly. NAMI's Family to Family can give classes on education about people with mental illness.

As for offspring who are mentally ill from mentally ill parents, I personally come from a line of mentallly ill persons who were successful Music teachers, professors, lawyers, English teachers, Civil Engineers and of those of us who aren't so intelligent, like myself, clerks of some type.

If you do have kids, it is probably okay. For myself with Bipolar, I was able to care for my son up until about 1 and 1/2 and then I placed him in daycare. I was lucky enough to land a clerical job. The right clerical job can do so much for the mentally ill! I so wish that more libraries, museums and archives would hire the quieter schitzophrenics and the bipolars for such jobs. You have greater creativity and greater loyalty.

I will tell you that parenting is difficult for someone with mental illness, but it can be done. It is good to have a supportive spouse. Another thing that helps is is to step away from the child and to cool down before dealing with temper tantrums and such. A supportive friend can help out during times when things are diffult. A support system of friends realy helps.

If your heart tells you that eventually you want kids, then listen to your heart. Make sure though, that first, you have a good job, perhaps a good spouse and that you are established with a good place to live; any sane person would have these requisites as well. Make sure to plan well like Clyde said to do.

Make sure that you have a good medication regimen and that you are in good shape nutritionally. Nutrition, wellness, a good therapist, a good psychiatrist (a SUPPORTIVE PSYCH WHO LISTENS TO YOU!) IS IMPORTANT. A good support network of friends also helps.

You can do it, but I would consider the career first and make sure that you are stablized. AS well, check out parenting classes or mentally ill friends who are successful parents!! :)

Friendship wise, it is always good to have low key friends who are very calm and accepting, or those who are slightly mentally ill and can understand you well. NAMI is good for Family to Family, but be careful of the consumer groups; sometimes gossip can seep in.

Good luck with all of your endeavors!! God bless you!! You are sweet in the sight of God, and don't listen to the small minds. Listen, my dear........small minds can ruin your mental health!!

C Horn



Fishgirl
2127 days ago
Want kids have kids it not your families choice it yours if get mad at u just ignore it and if they try to get rid of your kids or start to do it tell that if they did (rest of sentence is your choice) just get pregnant if u wanna