I would like some extra guidance in this matter...
This last few months, have been hell on me and my family. On October 27, the Division of Children’s Welfare took Jessica Lynn-Marie Green, out of my care, because I left a bruise on her bottom from a spanking.
I know I made a mistake, and I know I am responsible for the well being of both my children. But when one of the kid’s are laying on top of the other trying to smother them why can’t I spank that said child, and make her realize that is wrong, that it could really kill her little brother. This is the reason she got spanked on that Tuesday before October 27, 2007. This is the reason she was punished, for doing that. I did not see a mark on her or bruise either when I gave her a bath before she went to bed at 7:30pm that night; she said since I can’t watch my TV I want to go to bed, so we gave her a snack and said ok… the only time you can get up, is if you need to go potty… I was still up, when she woke up screaming over the spanking, (they sometimes give her nightmares) so I went and held her while Bryon held the baby so he knew everything was ok. We got both of them clamed back down and I reassured Jessica I loved her and that everything is ok... I will never stop loving my children no matter what they do. I just wish I could take it all back... Teach her the right things to do, with out somebody else undermining my teaching her right from wrong. Parents in today’s society should be able to teach the kids, what is right and what is wrong, and I also think we should be able to make the other household follow some of the rules set in the primary, house. If this is not done, it can and will make the child going back and forth confused, and not sure what is right or wrong.
We are willing to do what ever it takes to get Jessica back home. I will seek more counseling, and so will Bryon. We will take what ever parenting classes we need to, anger management also. The only thing I will not stand for is them asking me to leave my house to be with Jessica anymore. I am too scared to go outside alone, so I want her to come here. So her brother and her step father can see her. They both deserve to see her too.
We had our first Family Service Center visit last night. The lady that came was very nice explained things to us, about what we needed to do, and what we might want to think about doing. The more we corporate with them, the sooner we can talk about getting Jessica back where she belongs. I am willing to share her with Sean, but I do not believe he should just get to keep her now that everything is said and almost done. I think she should be able to come back home… She has lived here her whole life, Bryon and I have raised her to be what we assumed was a child that would not lie, or try to hurt us.
Many things will change when she comes home I know that… I am still scared to death that Sean and his grand-parents, will try to keep her down there. If they take us to court yet again, I do not have the money for any help this time. Hell I never really got any help last time… When Sean talks bout keeping her he keeps telling us that he does not really want her full time but he wants to switch the parental agreement that is said and done and over with, so I will be the one getting visitation, and he is the one who is the primary care giver… I think the biggest reason he wants to do this is to keep her away from her family, and also so he won’t have to pay child support anymore on Jessica. Sean has always had a bad habit of lying to get his way… I feel for it a long time ago, I will not do that again. I will fight as much as I can to bring Jessica back home, but damn it, I do not think I should be punished anymore than I already have.
My heart is broken, I do not want to go outside now, I do not want to drive, heck I do not even really like talking on the phone anymore. People scare me now. I just want to turn off my life outside of the house; I do not want to be around anyone other than Bryon and Matthew. They are the only two people (3-D) life who has not hurt me, not tried to make me cry, or make me want to die… In my eyes I think I’m getting worse daily. I know we have some running around to do to-ntie when Bryon gets home, but I do not want to go, I want to curl back up in my bed where it is safe and warm. No one can hurt me there; no one can touch me if I’m all alone…
I do not mean for all of this to hurt anyone, I just need to tell you all of what has been going on. I’ve told some a piece here or there but not the whole meaning of how bad I know I’m getting.
I will leave you all on a positive note. I can keep going to the same therapist, that I’ve been dealing with and she will get to do most of the classes with us, I can seek parenting classes elsewhere to help also, but I’m not sure if I want to involve more people…
This last few months, have been hell on me and my family. On October 27, the Division of Children’s Welfare took Jessica Lynn-Marie Green, out of my care, because I left a bruise on her bottom from a spanking.
I know I made a mistake, and I know I am responsible for the well being of both my children. But when one of the kid’s are laying on top of the other trying to smother them why can’t I spank that said child, and make her realize that is wrong, that it could really kill her little brother. This is the reason she got spanked on that Tuesday before October 27, 2007. This is the reason she was punished, for doing that. I did not see a mark on her or bruise either when I gave her a bath before she went to bed at 7:30pm that night; she said since I can’t watch my TV I want to go to bed, so we gave her a snack and said ok… the only time you can get up, is if you need to go potty… I was still up, when she woke up screaming over the spanking, (they sometimes give her nightmares) so I went and held her while Bryon held the baby so he knew everything was ok. We got both of them clamed back down and I reassured Jessica I loved her and that everything is ok... I will never stop loving my children no matter what they do. I just wish I could take it all back... Teach her the right things to do, with out somebody else undermining my teaching her right from wrong. Parents in today’s society should be able to teach the kids, what is right and what is wrong, and I also think we should be able to make the other household follow some of the rules set in the primary, house. If this is not done, it can and will make the child going back and forth confused, and not sure what is right or wrong.
We are willing to do what ever it takes to get Jessica back home. I will seek more counseling, and so will Bryon. We will take what ever parenting classes we need to, anger management also. The only thing I will not stand for is them asking me to leave my house to be with Jessica anymore. I am too scared to go outside alone, so I want her to come here. So her brother and her step father can see her. They both deserve to see her too.
We had our first Family Service Center visit last night. The lady that came was very nice explained things to us, about what we needed to do, and what we might want to think about doing. The more we corporate with them, the sooner we can talk about getting Jessica back where she belongs. I am willing to share her with Sean, but I do not believe he should just get to keep her now that everything is said and almost done. I think she should be able to come back home… She has lived here her whole life, Bryon and I have raised her to be what we assumed was a child that would not lie, or try to hurt us.
Many things will change when she comes home I know that… I am still scared to death that Sean and his grand-parents, will try to keep her down there. If they take us to court yet again, I do not have the money for any help this time. Hell I never really got any help last time… When Sean talks bout keeping her he keeps telling us that he does not really want her full time but he wants to switch the parental agreement that is said and done and over with, so I will be the one getting visitation, and he is the one who is the primary care giver… I think the biggest reason he wants to do this is to keep her away from her family, and also so he won’t have to pay child support anymore on Jessica. Sean has always had a bad habit of lying to get his way… I feel for it a long time ago, I will not do that again. I will fight as much as I can to bring Jessica back home, but damn it, I do not think I should be punished anymore than I already have.
My heart is broken, I do not want to go outside now, I do not want to drive, heck I do not even really like talking on the phone anymore. People scare me now. I just want to turn off my life outside of the house; I do not want to be around anyone other than Bryon and Matthew. They are the only two people (3-D) life who has not hurt me, not tried to make me cry, or make me want to die… In my eyes I think I’m getting worse daily. I know we have some running around to do to-ntie when Bryon gets home, but I do not want to go, I want to curl back up in my bed where it is safe and warm. No one can hurt me there; no one can touch me if I’m all alone…
I do not mean for all of this to hurt anyone, I just need to tell you all of what has been going on. I’ve told some a piece here or there but not the whole meaning of how bad I know I’m getting.
I will leave you all on a positive note. I can keep going to the same therapist, that I’ve been dealing with and she will get to do most of the classes with us, I can seek parenting classes elsewhere to help also, but I’m not sure if I want to involve more people…
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Answers
I honestly think what you are doing is a good idea. To take counseling classes, to do what they ask of you is a good thing.
I hope this stays and remains only a one time thing, but the parenting classes/counseling classes, and that kind of thing should hopefully keep it that way...
Best of luck. Sometimes life sucks so bad, but coming out of it is all worth it.
(((lady))) How heartbreaking to feel "punished" when you are trying to do what's right and good.
I agree that you must cooperate with the way they want things. I suppose that if the government was to intrude into all our lives, they would find fault with all of us.
Corporal punishment is no longer allowed, regardless of our reasons and beliefs (including God's.) So you must find other ways of punishing. Time outs, naughty mat sitting and the like. I wonder and am concerned that even withdrawing something special might be considered abuse also, as it might "emotionally" hinder them. Oh my! So be very careful.
This is a hard thing you must do: make the government happy with maybe inexperienced workers?! But you can do this. Try and remain consistent for the child. SHE will see through all the other stuff if you remain loving. When she is older, she will know.
Post more if PC can help you. It's good to hear from you, and I'm glad you can continue with your own T... and yes, get all the support people on your team that you can! When you have a good team, and they all get to know you, they can also rally for your defense with who you really are and what your real intentions are!
drjean