My daughter who just turned 17 for the last 2 years has destroyed my trust in her. She is constantly lying to me over anything and everything. She knows I will find out and she knows I will check into her story. Can anyone help me. I have punished her in every way I can think of and nothing works. She tells me she wants to earn back my trust and then she turns around and does the opposite of what she said she was going to do. Help
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Answers
It does indeed sound like she is trying to see how far she can go, how much she cares.
Have her sign a contract with you that if she does this, then this kind of punishment will take place. It helps to put the blame on her for her own problems or things she has done wrong, and helps her grow as a young adult, also.
Best,
Clyde
Hi adare! Sure sounds like she might be trying to make you prove you care. Why not both of you sit down, write some "rules" you agree upon at the time, and also discuss, agree upon and write down the consequences if she breaks one of her own rules? Post them in a visible area of your home. That way it won't be YOU she is countering, but her own agreement, and likewise it won't be YOU administering an appropriate punishment, but her own agreement. It will also help you to be consistent with the punishment. It might help her learn to be responsible for herself, and not feel like she has to constantly try you.
If something like this does not work, after a good try of a few weeks (mind you she might not change completely, but you'll have an inkling if it's helping her) then find a good therapist who can help her with whatever her issues of growing up are.
Good wishes
drjean