Avatar Posted by maidenvoyage 244 days ago (Question)
Scenario: My daughter and I are chatting and discussing life. I see no need to "correct" her, but I do see where she fails to understand certain simple concepts. Should an opportunity arise, I will share my insight or how I handled a problem. I've always been sensitive to her, to build her up and encourage her,but now after all these years she claims that I am hurting her feelings.During those times of conflict, my perspective is that she just can't comprehend right now what I'm explaining to her.Her brain is still developing, but I have never brought that up and used it "against her".I just accepted that she simply doesn't get it...and she will in a few years hence there's not much to do about that "conflict" from occuring. She is now deciding that I am to blame in this scenario.I feel sad and
tenative about our next conversation.


Answers

Written by Edahn 244 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

How does she say you're hurting her feelings? By saying WHAT, exactly?

Written by bellacutie 243 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi,

I agree, what is the main conflict your daughter is going through?

I'm a mom of 2 girls 7 and 11. You seem like a very understanding mom and it's hard to communicate some times, especially when they're teenagers. Usually most teenagers go through that overly dramatic stage and they also think they know everything. They're also establishing their independance, while going through the rough teen years.

As parents we want to offer our wise advice to spare them any pain. Some times that advice isn't always recieved the way we intend it. I know there are some good books on the dynamics of mother/daughter relationships. I wish I had the names for you, but you can easily find them. I know soon I'm gonna be buying them because my oldest is approaching her teens fast.

If you think back when you were that age, I'm sure you can relate. Now that we're older, the problems we had when we were that age seem so easty to solve - yet we couldn't see that then.

I think the next time you talk just explain that you had good intentions. You want to keep the lines of communication open and your bond with her strong. And sometimes it's better to listen to her carefully and not always offer to come up with solutions for her. Relax and enjoy your relationship with her.

Written by Clyde 243 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I agree, what are the issues going on? Let her know that you do have good intentions, but even then, parents can not always help their kids that way.

Sometimes the best way to help is by allowing them to get hurt a little, even though we really dont want it.

Best,

Clyde

Written by bellacutie 243 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Good advice Clyde sometimes kids need to learn on their own.

Written by Clyde 242 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Thank you Bella :)

Best,

Clyde


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