Answers

Cody
1164 days ago

Hi Myanii. To be honest with you I do not think your father is sexually attracted to you. I'm not saying that there has never been a father that has been sexually attracted to his daughter because I don't know. I know that it would be very rare if a father was. Just the thought of that is wrong and just plain sick. I'm not saying I know why he stared at you in those places, but I think I can take a guess to why he may be staring at you once in a while. If I was a father and I had a daughter I would be very protective of my daughter, which means I would be very aware of what my daughter was wearing, especially once you have reached a mature enough age. If I was a dad and I had a daughter and I stared at her in those places it would either be by accident or mainly just to see what you have on and how it looks on you, or maybe I would think my daughter is beautiful and how grown up she is(not in a gross or sexual way, just admiring that I have a beautiful daughter type of way). Do you see what I mean? I don't know your father so I can't really sit here and say why your father would have stared at those places, it could have possibly been by accident or something. Alls I am saying is that most fathers are usually very protective of their daughters and kids(daughters especially) and basically want them to be daddy's little girl forever. I'm guessing you are at that age where you want to look more attractive for boys or what not. If I had a daughter at that age, I would only look at you to basically see what a beautiful daughter I have and to realize that boys are going to be possibly wanting to date or "go out with you", which would upset me because I know if I had a daughter I would be very protective of her. So maybe your father is just seeing what he thinks other boys would think was attractive, which may worry him a little bit, because he possibly doesn't want you to date. Sorry if this explanation didn't help, but I just basically gave my opinion of why I would stare at my daughter if I had one and if I was a father. Does this make sense? I hope you understand what I mean. I hope this helps. I don't think you have anything to worry about, I highly doubt, in fact I'm 99.9% sure your dad is not attracted to you sexually. Take care.

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Chemar
1164 days ago

Hi

I dont think your father is sexually attreacted to you

BUT

I do think maybe it would be a good idea if you dress with less showing so easily when you are around him. Just would maybe make it less embarrassing for him as you are now growing up

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bella
1163 days ago

Men are naturally very visually oriented- meaning if someone is attractive they will momentarily look automatically.

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Myanii
1163 days ago

I forgot to mention that I'm not attractive at all.In fact,I'm ugly,so I really don't know why my dad would be staring at me so lustfully.

My father is not an affectionate dad.He never hugs and never kisses me.In fact,he is a cold person.But I presume that he is like this because he is shy.

Well,I am EXTREMLY SHY.

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Myanii
1163 days ago

To Bellacutie: I only wear revealing clothes when I'm at home.I would never wear revealing clothes out of my house.

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bella
1163 days ago

I believe you when you say, you don't wear revealing clothes outside the house. I changed my original post - I didn't want to imply, this is your fault. Maybe what's happening is, he's coming to terms with you maturing and developing - so he's momentarily glancing. I don't think it's good to call yourself ugly though - everyone has good points.

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Myanii
1163 days ago

I don't believe that he looks at me just because I'm maturing and developing because he stares at me with lustful eyes,though it only happens a few times.

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bella
1163 days ago

How long has this been happening?

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Myanii
1163 days ago

I am very thankful for your attention Bellacutie.

This happens since I was Thirteen years old.

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Myanii
1163 days ago

I have never had the courage to tell it to anyone because I don't think that it's important because my father only stares at me in a few occasions and he is not the type of person who would do anything harmful to anyone.In fact he is a gentle person.But this has been in my head for a long time so I decided to tell it here.

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kum35
1163 days ago

Hi Myanii..Thxs for ur answer. I think it is a causal stare

from your dad! Dont worry. It is wise that u didnot open up things with ur family, as it wd spoil everybody's relationship. Not that i'm blaming, but to stop worrying abt this issue, try to wear non revealing clothes when ur dad is around. As long as there is no phyiscal feelers happening, dont worry & take care!

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bella
1163 days ago

Since you said you feel confident he would never touch you in a bad way and he's a good man - I wouldn't worry about it and take the advice of the last 2 posters. Now that you're aware of it, take the necessary precautions to avoid the unwanted glances.

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Myanii
1163 days ago

Thanks for your help bellacutie!

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Myanii
1163 days ago

To bellacutie:Honestly,I think that no girl should be worried about what types of chlothes she should wear around her father because it's her father and not an stranger,do you know what I mean? A father is not supposed to have sexual thoughts about his daughter even if she is wearing revealing clothes.

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bella
1163 days ago

Yes that's true. But I'm only agreeing with what the last posters said - but you only seem to be disagreeing with me, not the others. Personally if I was in your shoes and felt that altering my clothing would help - then I would do that. You admit you think he's harmless, so I don't see any other alternative to stopping this, other than a confrontation - which seems like over kill. This would be awkward for sure. I'm a firm believer that it shouldn't matter what women wear, but we don't live in a perfect world. My daughter is 12 and if she has on a tight tank top and she hears her father coming home - on her own, goes to her room and puts on a less fitting shirt - I don't tell her to do this.

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Myanii
1163 days ago

The thing is that my family didn't raised me teaching me not to wear revealing clothes in front of my dad,they don't bother if I'm wearing a tight tank top in front of him and when I was a child I used to wear tank tops a lot but I don't do that anymore because I don't like tank tops anymore but one day when I was 14 years old I was wearing one because it was too hot and my father couldn't stop staring at my breasts,I mean it seems to me that he was very horny and that was the worst ''Staring'' situation that has ever happened to me.I remember that that time was the first time that I really got disgusted at him.

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Myanii
1162 days ago

To bellacutie:have you read what I post some hours ago?

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velma24
1162 days ago

My dad used to do the very same thing...and he has a history of being a pervert. If he did touch me, I've blocked it out and thus don't know or remember. If I were you, I'd definitely keep your guard up (meaning watch out for him). Just because he portrays to be a gentle, loving person, doesn't make him one. You know what you saw with you eyes and you know what you felt in your gut. Always, always follow your gut Myanii. It'll never lead you astray.

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bella
1162 days ago

Yes I did read your last post and I don't have anything new to say about this situation, that hasn't already been said.

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Cody
1162 days ago

Hi Myanii.

Back to what I said in the beginning and what bellacutie said about how

"Men are naturally very visually oriented- meaning if someone is attractive they will momentarily look automatically." That is so very true and I strongly believe that is why your father is staring. If you don't want it to bother you anymore you could put on different clothes like the others have said.

Like I said though, I really do not think that you have anything to worry about.

Take care.

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Myanii
1162 days ago

To Velma24:Thanks for your answer Velma24.You could see my point.You're right,I really know what I saw with my eyes and I really know what I felt in my gut,but only me and nobody else.

Your Answer Has Helped Me A Lot.

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Thatgurlfromthere
1117 days ago

Myanii!! I have been searching the web for something to relate to!! I have seen your question on manyyyy other sites but it seems you use this one the most. Please reply soon!! i actually don't know how to use this I made it for the sake of talking and relating to you!! like maybe we can discuss this it's really bugging me as well as I think it's bugging you.

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Myanii
1100 days ago

To Thatgurlfromthere:What do you want?

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Lilskittle95
887 days ago

Okay so i read through this whole thing and it looks to me like your making it up. Its just... You change your story all the time. You never keep it consistant. But if im mistaken, and it is true, I would follow everything you read. Like the whole "wearing less tight clothes thing". No one ever told me at home to not wear like tight tank tops and stuff i just dont because i feel uncomfortable with my dad seeing that you know? And he's probably staring because your growing up and he doesnt want you to and hes not used to you having boobs and stuff. Im just saying i wouldnt take it seriously. Unless he actually touches you or says something to you, I would take the thought out of your mind. I think that the first time you noticed something off, you started to think you see it everywhere and your mind is making up things that don't really happen. Buts that just me. I hope you got this cleared up

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cyclist31
869 days ago

Hi Myanii. I've never written on a site like this before but I felt strongly that I should reply to your question after reading thru these mixed responses, cos I've been thru a similar thing to you. I think my dad is sexually attracted to me too - he doesn't stare at any particular bits of my body but since I was a teenager I've often caught him staring at me and it makes me feel really uncomfortable. When I see him do it he sometimes says I'm his 'beautiful daughter' but that's normally when I'm wearing something a bit revealing. For years I wore tomboyish and baggy clothes, especially at home with him around. You have the right to wear what you want wherever you want and if you're instinct tells you there's something sexual about his looks then go with your gut. I had counselling for a year and was told that these 'looks' are actually sexually abusive. This helped me to understand why I felt so uneasy about the 'looks'. I hope you've found support to deal with it as I'm 30 now and it still affects my relationships with male friends - it's hard to get over innappropriate treatment from a parent.

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gambit
703 days ago

Hi Myanii, not sure if you will read this, i'd say my piece anyway, bare with me because my words might seem quite straight-forward but you might find what I say to be quite logical.

okay, i read everything that you said and all the comments from the others and I have some ideas.

First of all, I'm a guy so I know what a guy thinks and feels. From what you wrote, I'd say yes, your father is sexually attracted to you. Shy guys doesn't mean that they don't have sexual thoughts. In fact, shy guys have more than usual sexual thoughts. They normally have lesser sexual experiences that's why they compensate it by fantasizing about girls more than a socially active male does.

I don't think you are ugly but just for analysis sake, a guy doesn't really care whether the girl is ugly or not when it comes to sexuality, as long as she has a sexy body, he would still find her sexually attractive especially if she is wearing something that reveals body parts like breasts, legs, etc. Even if the clothing doesn't reveal anything but it's tight-fitting like the one that you wore when you were 14, it still makes them horny. I bet on the few occasions that your dad looked at you lustfully is when you were wearing something revealing or tight-fitting. You may be his daughter, it won't stop him from getting a hard-on while looking at your developing body. I don't suppose he will do anything to you but you better take precautions because lusting over one's daughter is extremely unnatural and wrong. This could well be the beginning stages of something regrettable or it might just slowly wear out. It really depends on your father's willpower to be more of a father than a man.

Remember that this is not your fault because it's his struggle. You can alleviate this problem before it becomes worst by wearing less revealing clothes. Always wear a bra underneath your clothing and don't wear too tight-fitting clothes. I know that it is unfair for you to not be able to wear what you want but we have to admit to the fact that your father gets horny when you wear too little. This doesn't just happen to you, it happens so many other girls as well and some are unfortunate enough to end up in rape. Your dad don't sound like he is capable of that though but anything is possible in this world. So, I still have to reiterate to you to cover up and be alert!! If he ever touches you in an inappropriate way, tell your mum immediately! if she can't do anything, tell someone that you think is able to help you like a school counselor.

All the best.

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Vicky
519 days ago

I know what you mean, dear. Twenty years later and my father still does it every time he sees me. I hate him. The problem is not what you wear, it's his sickness, you want to hear NO from folks here because it's more comfortable, but the true is it. It seems that your father as mine don't take courage to go forward but it is really devastating, because I grew up a half loved woman (only by my mother). And as you I felt ugly and now i know I'm not, just because we wanted to believe to be ugly to not attract them. You know what I mean? When I started noticing his eyes on me I wore jackets in the summer! Ask your mother to see a psychologtist, ask her to help you, maybe she can face him, show my answer to her and save yourself 20 years of suffering, this disgusting old man still stare my buttocks, legs, eyes, I can wear any kind of clothing and he tries to see something. Three years ago I had a difficult talk with my mom, I told her everything, she cried and she said she NEVER saw anything. The thing is, this is so disgusting that they don't want to see, and we don't want to admmit. He called me UGLY once just because I was kidding that a woman whoi appeared on a beauty contest on TV was ugly, he yelled at me: "Do you think you're the most beautiful woman in the world? Many people will think you're HORRIBLE!" Can you imagine it coming from a father to a 13 year old mind? Now I know why. My mom used to say I was beautiful, other people said and I felt a very ugly girl. I started to walk curved in order to hide the contour of my breasts to him. Lucky yours if it's rare, because mine was all the time. So when I told my mom she asked him what is that and he started to cry saying that it NEVER happened, I know what I suffered. But my mom believes me. Now he's an old guy, had cancer twice, survived (unfortunatelly), hated to know when I got pregnant, and I lost my baby girl two years ago, she was only 14, by a pneumononia. It seemed his plague, because I was waiting a child and he only hunnilliated me talking about the sex I had with my boyfriend, openly. Dirty man. Many times I wanted to dance on his coffin. To my disgrace, the wrong person passed away, i got angry with God.

I don't like him, I just bear him because of my mom. He touched my buttocks once, I got so ashamed and didn't know what to do. I should have screamed. I never forgot. I did many exercises prescribed by psychologists, I take meds. I told this to my mom too.

Gambit is right. It's HIS problem, not YOURS. Study, save money, and live your life. But I highly reccommend you to search for a doctor and talk to your mom. If she doesn't understand, I don't know what kind of mom she is. I didn't tell mine because I didn't want her to suffer, but I made her to suffer even more hiding this and avoiding her actions at the right time to protect to me.

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melly001
398 days ago

i disagree with what every1 here is saying ur father shudnt b lukin at u in a sexual way u shud hav d freedom to where whatever clothes u want in ur house without having to b paranoid about it or hoping that ur fathr doesnt stare at ur body in any way...my father does d same to me when i wear shorts he comes n feels up my legs n then jus laughs about it hes always touching me and telling me bout my body he stares at my legs n my butt n lashes me on my butt then jus laughs about it to make it seem lik a joke i told my mom recently but she cant do anything about it cuz wen she tells him what i told her he lies n says how im lying then she believes him ... he jus stares at my body i stay in my room most of d time cuz i dnt want to c him ...life sucks..

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