Avatar Posted by eileenS 48 days ago (Question)
My 35 yr. old daughter supresses my granddaughters emotions by almost an everyday verbal expression ...shut up ! I raised my twin daug in a good healthy life style and cannot understand why my daug is verbally using abusive words to her daug who is 13 yrs.old,a good student,a lovely person who is very respectful to everyone. I love my grand/d and have spoken to my daug, reguarding abusive words that can hurt a child emotionally, since then my daug resorts to hanging up on me, has a lack of contact, rarely speaking to me the past 2 yrs. I was a good Mom to her, we always talked, now I simply do not comprehend her actions towards my gran/d or me ??? I think at this point she needs mental help? I work in the social field, and know I have to find a way to help my grand/d n daug. Please advise, need someones help. Thank You....


Answers

Written by Chemar 47 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Dear Eileen

I can understand your concern as you already correctly commented on the detrimental effect on a child when their parent speaks badly to them.

I am just not sure what you can do other than to reinforce to your granddaughter that she is precious and valued. Without being negative to her about her mom, you could possibly just try to soothe her by suggesting that mom may be dealing with stressful stuff and that you are sure mom doesnt mean to hurt her with the words.

If your daughter's behavior moves beyond this to more troubling behavior, perhaps you could try to get a mutual friend or family member to try to encourage her to see a doctor?

Could your daughter be at the age of being menopausal? is she on any medications that may be having bad side effects? Going through stress in her personal life? So many factors can impact behavior! It doesnt make it right, but sometimes gives better understanding of the situation.

In the meantime, just try to show your love to both of them in the hope that whatever is causing your daughter's reactions will subside

Written by bellacutie 47 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Good advice from Chemar. I agree it sounds like your daughter is struggling to be a good parent. I think it's best to approach her in a non-confrontational way - you could offer to give her a break or help in some way. You could also encourage your granddaughter to speak to her school counselors. Are you getting this information from your granddaughter or have you heard her talk like that? Best of luck.

Written by Clyde 45 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I think one of the main things here is to make sure that your grand daughter know she is loved by you.

I agree with Bella--have you actually heard your daughter talk to her like that?

Does your daughter talk to you like that? Does she talk to you about the granddaughter?

Best,

Clyde

Written by eileenS 44 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

THANKS TO EVERYONE THAT HAS RESPONDED, AND YES I WAS THERE WHEN DAUG SAID S/UP TO HER, MY G/D IS VERY TRUTHFUL, I HAVE TAUGHT HER TO BE THAT, very proud of her. IF THINGS DO NOT IMPROVE SOON..NO OTHER CHOICE, SPEAK TO JUDGE I KNOW, HOPEFULLY THERAPY CAN HELP DAUG ?


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