My daughter never is happy. I give her things but it is never appreciated. It turns always to the negative. Ever since she was little, if I gave her a green cup she wanted a red cup. She is 14 and very jealous of my 11 year old son. She does not want to go to counselors. She always makes up stories that it is all my fault and will not tell the truth. How do you help a child like that. I love her but I am running out of things to try. Her father that is my X is also Narcissist. Is it hereditary and what can I do to change her or can I? I have always tried to please her but it always changes to the negative. I felt sorry for her because her dad wanted to take my son to a drag race and bond with him and not her. I decided to take her to get her hair colored and cut. Then she was all mad because it was cut to short and did not look like she wanted. It just never works for me to do things for her. She said that she knew that I did it only because I felt sorry for her. Help!!!!!!


Answers


Clyde
2210 days ago
Hi there,

Could some of it be because of her age?

Even if she doesn't want to go to the counselor--you are her parent, and she is 14--I would take her and see what is going on, if you feel that she is being tremendously narcissistic. I would also possibly recommend having her talk to a older family friend (adult family friend) who could help her ("mentor her") and get her life straight a bit.

Best,

Clyde



drjean
2209 days ago
Shakeyd, :hug: Have they both been diagnosed by a professional? I think that is very important at this point. Your daughter may be exhibiting behaviors she's learned from the poor behavior she's watched from her dad, and not actually have the disorder.

If she has been dx'd with narcissism, though the therapist can help you learn how to deal with it and help her, the best thing is to help HER learn about the disorder. In a loving way, counter her behavior by sharing how that particular element is part of having narcissism. By focusing the poor behavior as a symptom of the disorder, it takes the idea of her doing this on purpose off the table. When you both can share how this makes her feel and act, then it will be a little easier to live with. But truly, this is a very difficult disorder to live with - and heal from.

Good wishes

drjean



donotfear
2076 days ago
Her behavior sounds exactly like my daughter was. Don't give up on her. I hope she gets help. It wouldn't hurt for you to seek some counseling to help you cope with her behavior. I feel your pain.



Theolita
1579 days ago
I don't know if the person who wrote this e-mail is still using this site. But I just read my story. I really need to talk to this person who wrote this e-mail. We can help each other.



Lenie
1515 days ago
This sounds like my daughter! My son is 27 and has been incarcerated off and on since age 14. When he is. . .free I dote on him because I feel like I lost my son at 14. My daughter is so jealous and also is a narcissist like my ex. I did not know this was a hereditary trait. I thought it was nurture not nature. Perhaps it was because of her being nurtured by a narcissist but she resents him still she is like him and my oldest son. They are selfish and annoying. I am getting where I don't like either of them.