My daughter and son were raised by me as a single foster parent. Many emotional problems, and attachment disorder.My daughter has been thrown out of my house and her aunt and uncles. This last time I took her back and adopted hher.She was so difficult I asked her to leave again. That was a year and a half ago. Since I stopped enabling her by being involved in "helping her" (I stopped letting her have her mail delivered here because she did not pick it up, I made her get her own car insurance etc... She has very little contact with me now, an occasional phone call or text. I text her weekly to check in and tell her I love her. I also send cards telling her I support her am proud of her and love her very much. I am so upset about her lack of communication with me. She is now living with her boyfriend


Answers


Edahn
2052 days ago
Hm. If she has attachment issues, then cutting off support may have seemed like a cold rejection. Was it discussed? Did she understand why it was happening? Did YOU understand why you were doing it? Usually when people say they stopped "enabling" someone, the other person has an addiction. I didn't see that mentioned here. I also don't want to jump to conclusions, though.

Can you give us a little more information about why you kicked her out and cut her off financially?



boscoeye
2051 days ago
I asked her to leave because she was disrespectful.I have never cut off emotional support. She knows that I am here for her and I love her. She is totally inflexible-wants it all her own way. She did not follow through with college and has chosen to work at the movie theatre and live with her boyfriend. She hangs out with people who are going nowhere. I told her if she got into college and got good grades I would help her financially. I don't agree with her current choices and will not financially support them.



Clyde
2046 days ago
Perhaps you may have to let her live a little while without much support and see how that goes?

Be there as much as needed, but not as much as you want?

Hope it works for you.

Best,

Clyde