I hurt for my teenage son. He is 17 years old and he will tell you "I know I'm not an average guy". For his entire academic and social life, my son has been troubled with bullies and lacking in true friends. My son has been diagnosed with high functioning Asperger's a few year ago with the most evident symptom being his lack of appropriate social skills. His lack of social skills easily has made him a target as other children see him as odd and annoying.
HE has always had to eat lunch alone and has often been made to move from a table by other kids. No one ever calls or asks him to come over. It breaks my heart for him. I've intervened on many specific occasions of "bullying" with the school's support, but these interventions have not nor ever could totally shelter my son from his lonliness. The cumulative result of all the years came to a head last Spring. With the stress of school (he does have an IEP) and the obvious daily battle of enduring another day of LONLINESS....he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. He began to journal his feelings (very healthy I think); however he began having conversations about his feelings with "imaginary friends" in his journal. When asked by our physician, our son informs us that he knows they are imaginary. Over the summer, our son discovered the internet and "forums". ALthough his opinions often open him up for "cyber bullying", he has found some "friends" online. He began to want to dress in ALL BLACK clothes and refuses to wear anything else. He told us prior to the beginning of this school year, that "if they don't get me, they don't get me"! I guess this is a healthy attitude to have, but it breaks my heart. All his teachers say he is doing fantastic this year, but I can't tell you how sad I am for him. He said the other day that he feels like he has to hang around the "goths" despite disagreeing with them on some moral issues, because, "if I reject them, I'll have NO ONE". Bless his heart. He says he still has his imaginary friends and even draws pictures of them. His doctor tells me that he is just being creative...but it does concern me. I believe that he is SO LONELY that he has had to "create" his own circle of friends...even if they don't really exist. This grieves me so much! HOw can I help? I'm his mother and we are very close...thank goodness. HE is going away to a very small community college next fall........I pray he finds a least one other person that accepts him and does not judge him for being a little "different". He is a good boy! NEver gets in trouble at school!! Someone told me that college may be different for my son.....as the trival "high school" antics are not so easily accepted or tolerated....I PRAY this is true. HE has a strong Christain faith.......I'm so glad he has his faith. Please help us, help our son......to feel worthy, to feel an important part of this planet! HOw can I help prepare him for college! Guidance please!!
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