Every time my son is in a situation where he doesn't win at something, whether it is playing tag or getting the last word with a sibling, he gets extremely angry. He is a laid back typical 7 year old boy until he loses. He begins to turn red and get angry and if someone laughs because he is acting so ridiculous he starts crying and stomping. I have tried telling him he can't play tag until he loses the first one and doesn't get angry in an attempt to try to desensitize him to losing. He really tries and then starts to get angry after a minute and goes back to his routine. I have had long talks about how it's not important if you lose a game, just have fun. I have acted like him to show him how he looks. He usually laughs when i do this and realizes he has a problem, but he can't stop from getting angry even if we go back to the game immediatly after the conversation. I really need something to help him overcome his persistent urge to win. What shoud i do when he acts like this? Have done time out, grounding and have even spanked him when he kicked his brother once ( he rarely ever physically lashes out at others). Nothing seems to help!!!I want to stop it now before he gets older and he gets worse. He is very intelligent and actually gifted in reading comprehension. He is caring and sensitive to other's needs and has lots of friends. He does not have emotional issues or behavioral problems other than this one tic.


Answers


Chemar
1573 days ago
Hi

raging and tantrums would not be considered a "tic". Tics are movements or sounds that have a neurological basis

it sounds like this is an issue that is going to need more psychological reinforcement on the fact that his behavior is negative when he does this.

If you feel you have exhausted your own methods, maybe a short time in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy could help him. There are therapists experienced in pediatric CBT but you would need to ask when calling for an appointment to be sure they are qualified

it does sound like you have been using a lot of those techniques yourself, but perhaps coming from someone else may get thru to him better?

there are some excellent books written by Doris Rapp on explosive children that may be helpful to you too

http://www.dorisrappmd.com/?page_id=3



bella
1573 days ago
I found one thing that helped my girls have a good attitude and sportsmanship, is playing board games. If I'm losing and they're winning, I tell them "good job" etc. I wonder if video taping him, so he can see himself would help? Maybe you can teach him visualization and explain the old saying "it's not winning, but how you play the game that's important". It's very important to learn how to be a good loser and a good winner. One thing I've noticed, is many children don't know how to enjoy a win, without making others feel bad at defeat.



Clyde
1572 days ago
One other thing I have been thinking about too--does he "model" this from someone else in the family or a friend?

While I definitely am not saying you [or anyone for that matter], but is there a chance that he could be copying what he sees from somewhere?

Best,

Clyde