I come from a very big and close family. My Mom is one of 9 brothers and sisters.
They were very poor growing up and stayed in a very small house with less than the bare minimum-always looking after and looking out for each other. The six girls were born 1st and then the boys. My Grandfather drank a lot and my Grandmother spent most of her time gambling.
This led to a lot of incest happening in their lives.
The last time my mom was raped by her father she was pregnant with me.
In the last few years memories have started coming back to me as I have learned of what has been going on in my family. These are memories that i somehow blocked out for a long time.
I remember being molested by my grandfather-but i can't remember all the details. I was also molested by a nursery school teacher, and older child that came to the nursery school after school, an older cousin and by my mom's youngest brother, who lived with us for many years.
I have been on anti depressants for about five years now, and am struggling with my depression.
I am also a lesbian now.
I am involved with a woman who I can say will do anything for me.
Coming to terms with me being gay was very difficult for my parents-especially my mom. She even tried to kill us both when I told her.
when My Mom's youngest brother was 16 he came to live with us. My mom is 11 years older than him. He is 11 years older than me.
I don't remember all of the details but I was about 8,I know I was on a bed with him and he was kissing me and feeling my private parts, when my mom called my name out from the lounge. He quickly stopped and I went to my mom. She could see something was wrong-but when she asked me I said nothing!
That is the only memory I have of him doing anything to me. I didn't tell anyone about any of this until I was in my twenties.
When I told my mom she was in total denialabout my uncle ever doing anything. My uncle was quite wealthy at the time and helped us out financially. I just went on day by day as though nothing happened.
When I was 11 my uncle got married and had a child. They all lived with us. My uncle's wife passed away when their child was 3 and my mom became mother to her. My uncle moved out about a year later. She is twenty this year and is still living with us. She is a sister to me.
Last year she had a nervous breakdown of sorts and was hospitilized fr 3 weeks. During this time she also told us that her father molested her.
I had never before even discussed my situation with her so this was an even bigger surprise to my mom.
My Mom now putsthe things my "sister" told her down to her not being in her right state of mind.
My Mom approached my uncle about the both of us and he denies it. My problem now is that I have to keep seeing him. My entire family visits with him and pretends like nothing happened. I am expected to kiss and hug him hello and goodbye!
I have so many restless nights with nightmares of my past. I am terribly depressed and have keep having suicidal thoughts.
My girlfriend is furious about the situation and just totally ignores him when she sees him and this is causing family problems.
My uncle told one of my aunts to tell us that if she continues to do that he will hit her!
Am I wrong for not wanting to be around this man? What should I do?
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