Avatar Posted by Dangeredman808 179 days ago (Question)
Ok, to start things off I need to say that I get a little heated VERY easily. My dad just got his life together a few years ago from heavy drinking and drug use and has fully severed all associates and paths to lead him down that with path with certain people again. My mom divorced him from drinking actions and now, out the mercy of my mom, I get picked up Friday-Sunday to spend time with him. My dad is always consoling when i have a problem, for a short while. If i talk about a problem he goes off getting pissed, raising his voice and almost like he's gonna smack me, which he never did, ever. If I do something bad like coming home late on Halloween because of safeguarding, defending, and fighting for these small kids in my neighborhood he brings out the worst in me by bringing up old situations only in front of people or in the car when we have long drives home. He picks on everything about me, my faults, my temper, my getting a B in science and even what time I wake up on a rest day. If I try to talk to him a out it he shuts me up and gets more angry. He's like "I don't have to listen to you because I'm the father so you sit and listen kid.'' Today he's coming over to yell at me because I fell asleep at 12 'o clock last night. I can't release my anger, not in this house, the garage, or anyplace in this neighborhood. I get so worked up i can't even take off my shorts without thinking about how stupid I am for getting into those conversations. My fists are more than ready to go with whoever ticks me off just a little and I don't want to be like that. Again, he only angers me in the car alone or in front of people like relatives or visitors and it gets awkward. What should I do so I don't break something or smash someone. I just want to rip this laptop in half so badly right now.



Answers


bella
179 days ago
Hi - sorry you're struggling with your dad and feeling angry. Its natural to feel repressed anger when you're forced to stifle your feelings. How old are you? Since he has the attitude you should just listen and not have an opinion, I think writing him a letter might help. You can also ask how he was raised - if he was raised this way he might think its fine.

Often when people are addicted to drugs/alcohol, they're covering up inner pain. Has he been in treatment /therapy to find out what caused him to get addicted? Think about writing him a letter and try not to sound mean toned. You sound like a decent son, so he should be focusing on that. If things don't improve, tell your mom so she can help.

One good way to help with repressed feeling is of course to get your father to stop. Other coping methods is venting to others, vigorous exercise or a punching bag and keeping a journal. Let him know in the letter, you don't want to end up covering up your bad feeling with substance abuse. I hope things improve and your feelings matter. Good luck.
- 0 +



tipitokinder
168 days ago
Do you have a friend that would listen to you? Try talking to him/her about what's going on and maybe that will help vent some anger. If you can't find a friend then perhaps you could get some help from a psychologist (just to have someone that will listen and can suggest what to do). When it really get's to you, try screaming really hard into a pillow or punching it if you need to or try getting a stress ball or something of the sort.
- 0 +