Our 21 year old son is a bright college student.
He has been addicted to being on the computer and a sig-
nificant amount of that time is spent at porn sites.
He also hardly ever wants to do anything with us which
we used to interpret as just his wanting to exercise his
independence, but now we are wondering if it is because
of his addiction. How do we convince him that he needs
professional help. His father has already told him
that he can get counseling, but we know that he hasn't
sought any help. Also, could he benefit from seeing a
psychiatrist to discern if there are underlying reasons
as to why he is seeking to escape to his addictions?
written by Edahn 226 days ago
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I would do a little research and find some information about the symptoms and effects, and therapies (behavioral would seem like a good idea) about internet or pornography addiction and send it to him, assuming he won't be too ashamed to find out that you're aware of his habit.
If you think he would get ashamed, then get a guy around his age with whom he has a good relationship (brother would be a good idea) to communicate the information and concern.
I would stay away from trying to make him feel BAD for what he's doing. Sex is a sensitive subject. Try instead to communicate why you're concerned -- his withdrawal from the family and how you genuinely miss his participation.
About 2 weeks ago, someone posted a very similar question and the dialogue was more intense. I would check that out, too.
written by Clyde 215 days ago
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I do think that there probably is something underlying the whole addiction issue--there usually is.
Be very calm, cool and a collected cucumber about it. Sex is, as Edahn said, a very touchy (no pun intended) subject, and the more you dig in with the screwdriver is the less you can put back together in the long haul.
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I would do a little research and find some information about the symptoms and effects, and therapies (behavioral would seem like a good idea) about internet or pornography addiction and send it to him, assuming he won't be too ashamed to find out that you're aware of his habit.
If you think he would get ashamed, then get a guy around his age with whom he has a good relationship (brother would be a good idea) to communicate the information and concern.
I would stay away from trying to make him feel BAD for what he's doing. Sex is a sensitive subject. Try instead to communicate why you're concerned -- his withdrawal from the family and how you genuinely miss his participation.
About 2 weeks ago, someone posted a very similar question and the dialogue was more intense. I would check that out, too.
I do think that there probably is something underlying the whole addiction issue--there usually is.
Be very calm, cool and a collected cucumber about it. Sex is, as Edahn said, a very touchy (no pun intended) subject, and the more you dig in with the screwdriver is the less you can put back together in the long haul.
Best,
Clyde