Avatar Posted by Anamika5 192 days ago (Question)
My mother seems to be opposing me on everything. She does not take me seriously in any matter. She seems to hate me. She is always after me. I dont know what her problem is. But this is becoming very frustating. I am perplexed, I dont know how i should react. I tried to talk it out but things grew worse. She talks to me only when there is some work. Is it due to my academic results that have slowed down? Or is it due to lonliness she is suffering since my father works abroad. I try my level best to understand her but it seems she just wants to be herself. what should i do?


Answers


Chemar
192 days ago
Hi

I see you also posted about your mother under another user name....but there you said you know that you and your mother love each other...just that you are having oppositional issues. http://answers.psychcentral.com/ChildrenandParenting/why-am-i-having-problems-with-my-mother-1/

It is very possible that she is under stress with your father away, and yes, your academic results coming down may also be troubling her.

I think you need to just focus on your schoolwork to get your grades back up, and try to be kind and helpful to your mom. Hopefully that will improve the relationship you have with her
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Anamika5
191 days ago
Thanks for the advice, Chemar but please get it to notice that I am not into the habit of keeping 2 accounts on the same site.
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Tay_Strife97
185 days ago
I know how hard it can be living with people who don't listen and who oppose you all the time. My whole family is too self absorbed to care about anyone else but themselves. In the worse case, you should seek professional help because believe it or not, being opposed against can get that bad. It will start to make you feel lonely, worthless, and angry. If you want to try something on your own, try doing things that will make you relax. Do things like meditate somewhere it is quiet. I know this sounds cheesy, but it works really well.I also found a song that really helps me relax and takes my mind off things. You should look more into it because this small situation may lead to things like depression and in far off cases, social anxiety for the fear of being rejected. I let things get a bit too far over a situation like this one that I thought would be harmless. I ended up in a bad spot with Body Dysmorphic Disorder, depression and social anxiety. Don't let things get that bed. Bu the sounds of it, you have access to a school consular. Go to him/her if you feel you really need too because I did and it really helped.
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lola5
173 days ago
Moms! am I right?! Teenagers and parents often find it hard to know where the other is coming from. Your mother may just think you are going off the rails and is trying to steer you back on course and because you don't think you are going off the rails, think she is being irrational.

Can I ask, what was your relationship like with your mother before your father went to work abroad? If your relationship has gone sour since then, the likely hood is your mom is having trouble adjusting to the new parenting situation. Before, she had backup and now she is effectively a "single parent". She may just be trying to do two parents parenting and overcompensating.

To be fair, if your dad was still living at home and your grades were dropping she may have still started to come down hard on you. It maybe your mom was always the bad cop to your dads good cop and only because he is gone that the balance has changed and with no good cop to buffer the bad cop you are finding it hard to cope.

My advice is to try and sit down and ask her to just listen to you, not to converse but just listen to what you have to say. maybe write down what in her behaviour is upsetting you(with examples)and ask her why she is reacting the way she is because you don't understand and can she explain why. Ask her what can you do so that you can get along better. don't use blame words, just i words i feel this way when you do that. i don't understand why you are acting like this. what can i do so that we dont come back to a situation like this. that kind of thing.

i hope this helps.
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